Take Me Home Tonight (2011)

Not terrible, but below average across the board. Writing was weak. Acting wasn’t great. Editing was poor. I made it through to the end intact, but I’m not sure the reputations of those involved did.

Rating: D+

The Mexican (2001)

Fun escape movie, although the arguing between Julia and Brad can get tiresome. More violent than I thought it would be.

Rating: C

Paul (2010)

The previews for this didn’t win me over, however the film itself was much better than I was led to believe. I only wish I’d avoided the previews so they couldn’t ruin several perfectly good jokes. I liked that this was an action, road-trip buddy comedy. The writing was witty for the most part and the supporting characters did a good job. Seth Rogan’s voice was put to better use here than in Monsters Vs. Aliens.

Rating: C+

Land of the Dead (2005)

It's nice to see Romero have a real budget to work with for a change. The fourth film in the series features real actors, the best horror effects team in the industry, and a decent plot. The gore factor on the unrated DVD is amped way up. DVD extras are worth checking out.

Rating: C

Blitz (2010)

A straight to DVD Statham action flick. Perhaps it had a theatrical release in Britain. There was a grungy, B-grade look to the production, and I don’t think it was on purpose. I thought it had a slow start but picked up steam in the second act. Not a bad rental if you’re looking for something in this genre.

Rating: C

Camp (2003)

This was a Sundance film I had heard good things about. Very low budget, but it wasn't too noticeable. The acting wasn't great, however the film had several worthwhile moments that made you feel like you weren't wasting your time. Too much singing for my taste, but if you're into that Glee crap, you'll probably enjoy it more than I did.

Rating: D+

Your Highness (2011)

Silly, crude, and juvenile. Follows in the footsteps of Pineapple Express, but it’s more lowbrow than that. The big mystery is how they got Natalie Portman to join the cast. She’s looking fabulous in this pre-pregnancy role. The movie is funny, but not laugh out loud funny. I’d heard some pretty bad reviews, so my expectations were low. I’ve certainly seen worse. This was at least entertaining.

Rating: C-

Life (1999)

This is a departure from the usual Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence crap.It's not exactly non stop funny, but it still entertains from start to finish.

Rating: C+

Leaves of Grass (2009)

Way to go Tim Blake Nelson on some fine directing. The nifty split screen worked with Ed Norton playing identical twin brothers. It’s a fun little indie drama with startling outbursts of violence at the end. Kerri Russell is delightful as ever as the love interest.

Rating: C+

Intolerable Cruelty (2003)

While there were elements of a Coen Brothers movie, it really didn't resemble their previous work. I'd label it a quirky, dark, romantic, comedy. It's watchable, and parts are funny, but not great.

Rating: C

Outsourced (2006)

This must have been the source material for the Hollywood hacks who created the TV show with the same name. The NBC show is like a bad karaoke version of a great pop song. They sucked everything out of it that made the film enjoyable.

Outsourced is a fun fish out of water story about a typical American guy flying to India to manage a call center. The culture clash gags work because he’s actually IN India, not just parading around a back lot in Burbank. The cast is made up of real people, as opposed to random ethnic actors pretending to be Indian. Avoid the dreadful show and rent the DVD.

Rating: B-

Behind Enemy Lines (2001)

The movie was funny, had some great action, and cool special f/x sequences.

Rating: C

Limitless (2011)

Smart, like the drug it’s centered around. I appreciated the cinematic changeup that occurred alongside the characters metamorphisms. Bright, vivid colors under the influence. Dim, monochromatic hues when they came off. These editing tricks really helped to propel the story forward. They did a good job with pacing too, balancing equal parts action and drama. Kudos to director Neil Burger for taking this film to the next level.

Rating: B

Black Snake Moan (2007)

This movie defies classification. If I were hard pressed to come up with one, I guess I'd call it a musical. The blues it contains are fantastic. Sam Jackson put in some serious time to get his playing and voice up to par, and it showed. This is a performance he should be very proud of.

Another thing I really liked was the imagery. It's a beautifully shot film—my favorite being the club scene towards the end. This film is raw emotion. The script is unusual to say the least, but it works. Performances are right on, thanks to the skillful direction of Craig Brewer. If you enjoyed his Hustle & Flow as much as I did, this is a must see.

Rating: B+

Priest (2011)

Visually stimulating but intellectually shallow. Not really a vampire movie in any sense of the genre. Reminded me of "Legion", another weak Paul Bettany endeavor.

Rating: D+

Pipe Dream (2002)

A little indie about a plumber who pretends to be directing a little indie in order to get women to give him the time of day. Cute story that will entertain for the evening. Worth the rental.

Rating: C+

Holy Rollers (2010)

Hasidic Jew drug mules in a movie based on a true story. One of those topics I’m not very familiar with, so had to check out. Interesting, but not as compelling or deep as I would have liked.

Rating: C

The Girl Next Door (2004)

Flimsy plot with mostly poor acting.

Rating: D+

New York, I Love You (2008)

More cohesive than expected with so many different writers, directors, and actors involved. Some stories are much better than others. I felt a little embarrassed when I learned that one of the shorts I liked best was the one from Brett Ratner. What can I say? I’m a sucker for hot crippled chicks.

Rating: C

The Pool (2007)

They did a pretty good job of fleshing out a feature length film from a short story. I liked how they showed India as it is, without glamorizing or overselling the poverty. It's worth your time.

Rating: C+

Rollerball (2002)

I knew it was terrible after 15 seconds, but I gave it 15 minutes just to be sure. I will push through almost any crap on film, due to my completionist tendencies. Not this. I am 100% sure it wasn’t getting any better, and it couldn’t get any worse.

Rating: F

The Upside Of Anger (2005)

A quality drama full of characters that actually have interesting things to say. Plenty of funny moments and lines. A very well written script. A female driven movie that won't turn off the guys.

Rating: B-

A Perfect Getaway (2009)

A cat and mouse thriller set in beautiful Kauai. They try their hardest to keep you guessing, but odds are you’ll figure it out before any big reveals. My biggest complaint about the film was how the “bad” couple continued trying to sell their act even when nobody else was around. I realize this was to keep the audience in the dark, but in retrospect it didn’t make sense.

Rating: C

The Watcher In The Woods (1980)

So this is what qualified as a scary movie when I was a kid? Terrible acting, obscene outfits, and cheesy laser beams round out this Disney turd.

Rating: D-

Nowhere In Africa (Nirgendwo In Afrika) (2001)

A remarkable German film set in Kenya that succeeds in telling a compelling story as well as showing the beauty of Africa. Absolutely gorgeous cinematography. Acting is top notch. A must see foreign film.

Rating: B+

Signs (2002)

Creepy and interesting. One of M. Night's better films. I had no idea where this movie was taking me, which is refreshing.

Rating: C+

I Spit On Your Grave (2010)

I generally dislike this genre of film—I lean more towards revenge flicks than torture porn. I had hoped this would tilt in favor of the former. It was difficult to sit through the first portion, waiting for the inevitable to happen. I was tense and uncomfortable. Every last trace of sympathy I may have had for these guys was wiped away. I’m ready for some revenge. Mission accomplished.

That’s where the film unraveled for me. I feel the screenwriter missed the opportunity to keep things real, thus keeping the viewer focused on the screen rather than contemplating plot holes. Why not show a couple quick shots of our protagonist living in the woods, healing from her wounds, or feeding herself. How did she survive for a month in the forest? At least make an effort to be plausible.

Secondly, how does a 98 pound girl drag 200+ pound dudes through the trees and into a cabin where she ties them up from the ceiling? Did she suddenly build a wagon and learn how to use a pulley system? Sure, the average pimpled teen with a sub average IQ might not put two and two together, but intelligent movie watchers like me demand some kind of half-assed attempt to Scotch tape the story together.

And finally, I get that this girl wants her sweet revenge on these creeps. They fully deserved what they got. But seriously!?!? Are we really supposed to buy this chick creating her personal sequel to the Saw movies? It was way too over-the-top to be believable. The leap from innocent novelist to sadistic torturess is too much to swallow. We deserve better.

Rating: D+

Walk The Line (2005)

Some top notch musical performances from Phoenix and Witherspoon. I'm sure the film doesn't portray things exactly as they went down, but it does serve to give you a nice overview of Cash, much as Ray did for Charles.

Rating: B

The Proposal (2009)

A complete formula movie, but not without merit. I don’t understand America’s love affair with Sandra Bullock. She’s far too old to be doing romantic comedies—regardless of how much work she’s had done to her face. (a lot) But there were quite a few funny lines which made the film bearable. However, the ending was beyond preposterous.

Rating: C-