The Longest Yard (1974)

 

The original prison football movie starring Burt Reynolds. I'm glad they remade this, because it mostly sucked. Very few redeeming moments.

Rating: D-

Gangster No. 1 (2000)

 

An old-school-like British mobster movie that had stylistic potential, but got bogged down with grotesque violence. 

Rating: C-

Bullet Boy (2004)

 

Mostly boring with incomprehensible blather muttered by the two leads. Stupid people make stupid decisions and suffer the consequences. Who cares. 

Rating: F

Manda Bala (2007)

 

A Brazilian documentary covering both corruption and violence among politicians and criminals. While I found much of this film interesting, sometimes disturbing, my fear is that it may give foreigners the wrong idea about Brazil. Sure, there is violence and corruption. But show me a 3rd world country that doesn't have these. Show me a 1st world country for that matter.

I lived all over Brazil for 2 years. Not once did I encounter danger or crime. I was never robbed, kidnapped, or harmed in any way. Viewers may get the wrong impression about the degree of danger that exists. Is it still worth seeing? Yes, both the documentary and the country. Just use common sense when seeing both. 

Rating: C+

Cradle 2 The Grave (2003)

 

As far as rapper kung fu movies go, it's not a bad one. Some great fight sequences with an ok plot. What an obnoxious little girl portraying DMX's daughter.

Rating: C

The Santa Clause 2 (2002)

 

Not nearly as entertaining as the first, but not all bad either. Most of the scenes in the North Pole are fairly weak. The entire clone Santa subplot was lame. However, the scenes in the real world were oftentimes funny and well written. Loved Molly Shannon's bit part. 

Rating: C-

Birthday Girl (2001)

 

This Nicole Kidman flick didn't get much attention at the box office, but I enjoyed it. An Englishman gets more than he bargained for when he brings home a Russian Internet bride. 

Rating: C+

Man On Wire (2008)

The brilliance of director James Marsh is how he created an intriguing, sometimes thrilling documentary around the simple act of wire walking. It doesn't hurt that the key players are great story tellers and complete naturals in front of the camera. 

The other secret to this film's success is the documentary within the documentary. That is, the story of the Twin Towers. Just as interesting as the tale of how a man walked between them is the historical footage showing them going up. Two beyond human feats intertwined into one gripping film. 

Rating: B

A Murder Of Crows (1998)

 

A murder/mystery that managed to keep me awake. 

Rating: C

Terminator Salvation (2009)

 

Just because 3 movies, a TV series, and a theme park ride have paved the path before you, doesn't mean you get to skimp on character development and story. Salvation dives right in, as if the audience has been waiting anxiously for the next installment.

Lots of robots and explosions with little to make the audience care who lives or dies. This is what your get when MCG is directing. His style may suit the Charlie's Angels crowd, but it's not suited for anything with depth.

Rating: D

The Wild Parrots Of Telegraph Hill (2003)

 

If you like parrots and San Francisco, then you will like this

documentary.

Rating: C+

Welcome To Collinwood (2002)

 

Produced by Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney with an amazing cast. Smart little heist movie with subtle humor. Well acted of course, especially by Sam Rockwell.

Rating: C+

Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)

 

A gritty British film from the director of "This Is England". The story is told through flashbacks. Kind of dreary. 

Rating: C

The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001)

I'm not usually a fan of black and white films, but in the hands of The Coen Brothers, it looked beautiful. Smooth storytelling with cool narration from Billy Bob. I didn't care for the ending. 

Rating: C

The Life Of David Gale (2003)

 

Kevin Spacey and Kate Winslett star in a movie about capital punishment that makes its point without shoving it down your throat. Chilling in some parts, gruesome in others. Not something you'd watch for a good time.

Rating: C+

Thick As Thieves (1999)

 

I caught wind of this in the Sundance film guide and rented it through Netflix. Alec was in excellent form. The supporting actors did a hell of a job. Interesting plot with the right amount of humor. 

Rating: C+

Serendipity (2001)

 

Predictable but fun. Jeremy Piven & Eugene Levy had me cracking up. 

Rating: C+

All I Wanna Do (1998)

Early work from Kirsten Dunst. Catholic school girls revolt.

Rating: C+

Beyond Borders (2003)

 

Mostly disjointed storytelling with weak attempts to manipulate your heart strings. 

Rating: D

The One (2001)

The plot was a stretch, but a good stretch. Jet Li was in fine form. Solid special effects for the time.

Rating: C+

Six Ways To Sunday (1997)

Familiar plot where a new guy get's taken under the wing of a mobster and quickly moves up in the organization. Debbie Harry plays the crack pot mother very well.

Rating: C

Love Actually (2003)

Intertwining love stories, some of which were much more entertaining than others. Really enjoyed Hugh Grant as the Prime Minister. I liked the Portuguese story too. 

Rating: C+

Troy (2004)

They should have cut a few minor characters to allow for depth from the main ones. A serviceable epic actioner.

Rating: C

The Secret Lives Of Dentists (2002)

Two married dentists with 3 little girls. It's moody, odd, funny, and a bit dark. Dennis Leary does a good job. 

Rating: C+

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Even worse than the second film. More confusing, less characterization, more of the same fight scenes, and an unfulfilling end. They should have only made one.

Rating: D+

Meeting People Is Easy (1998)

 

An odd documentary on Radiohead. I didn't really care for the style, but I'm a huge fan of the band.

Rating: C-

Without A Paddle (2004)

Outside of an occasional laugh, the movie movie went where hundreds of films have gone before, only in a much less funny way. Lame lame lame.

Rating: F+

The Other Side Of Heaven (2001)

An LDS story unfolds on a tiny Tongan island. Better than expected.

Rating: C+

Startup.com (2001)

Documenting an Internet business from birth to death and its effects on the personal lives and relationships of its founders. 

Rating: C+

King Arthur (2004)

 

The studio forced Antoine Fuqua to release a cleaner version for the theater, but thankfully they released the director's cut on DVD. It's a new take on the Arthur and Guinevere story. Enjoyable characters and story.

Rating: C+

Audition (Odishon) (1999)

 

Just as the story began to get interesting, it took a turn for the sick and pointless. Senseless gore. Skip.

Rating: F

Friday Night Lights (2004)

 

Texans are morons. There's more to life than high school football, and yet everyone's lives there seem to revolve around it. Sad. Guess what, whether you win or lose state, the outcome is going to be the same: a job as a truck driver, insurance salesman, or handyman.  

Rating: C-

Let The Right One In (Låt Den Rätte Komma In) (2008)

 

Got to hand it to the Swedes for giving the Twilight fans the middle finger and putting out a real Vampire flick featuring a young, budding romance. This is unlike any blood sucking movie you've ever seen. Dark, authentic, and touching. I'd honestly like to see a sequel. 

Rating: B-

Meet The Fockers (2004)

 

Barbara Streisand and Dustin Hoffman were perfect as Stiller's parents. Not as good as the first, but worth seeing.

Rating: C

Rachel Getting Married (2008)

 

How did this movie got nominated for so many awards? If the wedding video of some dysfunctional strangers is your idea of a good time, then this is the movie for you. Unlikable characters argue and whine a lot. Snoozefest. What an over-hyped, pretentious pile of tripe. 

Rating: F

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)

The movie is just ok, but the music is great, especially if you are an indie snob like me. If Nickelback or Hoobastank is your things, you should steer clear. 

Rating: C

In Bruges (2008)

 

Starts slow, but picks up. Well written and darkly funny. I was shocked by Colin's Golden Globe win. He was a good, but the best? 

Rating: C+

RocknRolla (2008)

 

Scattershot, but definitely a return to form for Guy Ritchie. Certainly not in the same league as Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch, but much better than Revolver. 

Rating: C+

Fracture (2007)

 

A feature film length episode of CSI or The Practice. A good episode.

Rating: C+

Redbelt (2008)

 

I wasn't sure what to expect from a David Mamet fight film. Or maybe I did, since there was plenty of drama, emphasis on characters, and everything felt like it could be acted out on a stage. Not sure I bought the ending. 

Rating: C+

Transporter 3 (2008)

 

A barely believable plot that exists solely for the purpose of butt-kicking. There are some decent fight scenes, but nothing as original as the ones in the first.

His obnoxious passenger was a lot to deal with. There is no conceivable way that any moviegoer will buy their "romance". Apparently Luc Besson discovered her as a hairdresser and paid for her to take acting lessons. Waste of money. Zero talent. Luc must have been banging her.

It's a shame director Louis Leterrier walked away from the franchise. 

Rating: D

Breakin’ All The Rules (2004)

 

Jamie Foxx is fine in this little romantic comedy about the rules for breaking up. 

Rating: C

Hancock (2008)

 

One of the first mainstream films to take a dark spin on superheroes. Not for kids.

Rating: C

Paparazzi (2004)

 

A decent revenge premise which plays out rather well.

Rating: C

Semi-Pro (2008)

Better than I thought it would be. The film draws from a deep bench of supporting comedians to deliver the laughs. My favorite is the un-jealous husband, played by Rob Corddry. Will Arnett and Andy Daly as the sports commentators were excellent too. Farrell is consistently funny. 

Rating: C

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

 

I felt obligated to see this one after watching the first; plus, I have a hard time passing up non-stop violence. This sequel was terrible. The film was a patchwork of stolen ideas from other zombie movies woven together into a bloody mess. 

Rating: D-

Wimbledon (2004)

 

Paul and Kirsten are great together. The script is solid, but the editing, direction, and special effects make it much better. I've never been a tennis fan, but that didn't prevent me from enjoying this film. 

Rating: B-

Playing By Heart (1998)

 

Separate relationship stories eventually weave together in a celebration of love. Some work better than others. Angelina Jolie shines. I miss Sean Connery. Weird seeing Jon Stewart acting. 

Rating: C+