The Expendables (2010)

Big on action stars, light on everything else—especially writing and acting. Ho hum plot with mostly boring fight scenes. Occasionally an exploding body, decapitation, or well placed blade would illicit a reaction from the audience. These guys should have been able to deliver the goods. Instead they crapped out something mildly entertaining.

Rating: D

Lady In The Water (2006)

Not my favorite M. Night film by a long shot, but interesting as usual. I think his childhood fascination with this story clouded his perception of it's real mass appeal. It's a stretch to go along with the premise, and not rewarding enough if you do. Given the right source material, he can do wonders. This source was lacking.

Rating: C-

Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

A huge disappointment after such an entertaining original. The style and tone are all wrong. The dry, dark humor has been replaced with cheesy quips and teen clichés. The violence in the first was shockingly brutal. Here it’s cartoony and ridiculously over-the-top. CGI effects look bottom dollar. That van scene was the worst. I forgive Chloe for being a part of this project. I’m sure it was contractual.

Rating: D

Human Nature (2001)

I had high hopes for this because of the involvement of Charlie Kauffman and Spike Jonze. Just like Adaptation and Being John Malkovich, the story is completely out there. A super hairy girl desires to live in the woods where she feels accepted. A boy raised in the woods by his apelike father is captured and forced to learn the ways of man. Too bad this interesting setup never went anywhere.

Rating: D

The Incredibles (2004)

Back when Pixar was on top of the world. Incredibles is a lot of fun for kids and adults alike. Slick story, creative characters, cool animation, and plenty of laughs.

Rating: B

Rocky Mountain Express (2011)

Watched this IMAX film at the Omaha Zoo. Neat documentary about the transcontinental Canadian railroad. Amazing scenery, interactive maps, and historical information. Fun to see on the big screen.

Rating: C+

You Kill Me (2007)

There's something to be said about a well told story. An engaging film, with unique characters, and some nice dark humor to boot. Loved both Tea Leoni and Ben Kingsley in this.

Rating: B

Cold Mountain (2003)

What a great supporting cast! Kidman and Jude law were adequate, but it was the small performances by Philip Seymour Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Giovanni Ribisi, and others that made it fun to watch. My favorite cameo was Jack White of The White Stripes. Not happy with the downer ending, or else I would have rated it higher.

Rating: C

Shadow Dancer (2012)

A mostly thrill-less IRA thriller.

Rating: C-

A Serious Man (2009)

Fantastic job depicting 1967 as well as daily Jewish life. Quite compelling despite there not being a riveting plot. Uncertain as to the point of the film. The ending didn't do me any favors either. I need a bit more resolution to walk away from this amicably.

Rating: C

Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

Yeah, I watched it. I'm a loyal Robert Rodriguez fan, what can I say. Most of the film is juvenile, as expected, but there are moments that were entertaining.

Rating: C-

The Monuments Men (2014)

A by-the-numbers historical drama, the pieces of which never fully come together into a satisfying, coherent movie. Characters felt shallow. Dialogue was dry. Action was weak. If anything, it made me want to see Inglorious Basterds again.

Rating: C-

The Ringer (2005)

This plot was so much funnier on South Park.

Rating: D+

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

I fully expected this to be terrible. The fact that I still watched it says a lot about how much I like a good violent movie. What elevated this bloodbath above a low level direct-to-video turd was the casting. They pulled in some great cable TV actors. Ray Stevenson played my favorite character from ROME. Dominic West from The Wire is perfectly over the top as Jigsaw. This reboot played more like a comic book film than the last one. If you're in the mood to see bodies hit the floor, this is worth your time.

Rating: C+

Mulholland Dr. (2001)

This is the David Lynch film that put me over the edge. Never again! I don't care if he's the auteur of the century. NOTHING ON THE SCREEN MAKES ANY SENSE!! I didn't major in film at a small art college, so there needs to be some semblance of a sensical story happening on screen. Naomi Watts' fine performance is wasted here. It's buried beneath all the usual Lynch undertones, which have a distinct way of unnerving you as you watch, and then leaving you unfulfilled at the end.

Rating: D-

Waiting For 'Superman' (2012)

A documentary that points out the obvious, yet ignored flaws of our public school system. Not quite as well produced as it could have been, but effective nonetheless. The most powerful moment was the lottery drawing at the end—seeing true joy and disappointment on parent's faces when their children were or were not accepted to attend a charter school. Knowing that not getting in meant subjecting their child to a crap education from worthless teachers who cannot be fired.

Rating: C

The Host (2006)

There was a lot of hoopla surrounding this Korean import, so after watching it, I wondered what was the big deal? Sure, the creature special f/x were pretty cool, but they were just as good in The Relic 10 years ago; and that was far more entertaining. Try focusing on plot, acting, and dialogue in addition to cool computer imagery for a change.

Rating: D

Sid & Nancy (1986)

A testament to how one can appreciate a band’s music, but think the musicians are a bunch of morons. Gary Oldman and Chloe Webb manage to capture what I imagine to be the disgusting nature of the real life relationship this film is about. Could there be two more obnoxious, ignorant, and useless people on the planet? Come to think of it, I didn’t like any of the characters in this movie. It’s a shame punk music is made by a bunch of a-holes.

Rating: D-

Ender’s Game (2013)

I read this series when I was a kid, but forgot almost everything. Consequently, I was able to enjoy the movie on its own merits, rather than comparing it to the book. These children-in-charge movies are all the rage lately, what with the Harry Potter, Twilight, and Hunger Games franchises leading the way. Ender’s Game follows a similar path, however I think it will appeal to adults a bit more than the others.

The actor playing Ender did a great job. Perfect casting. I could do without Han Solo, but whatever. Some good scenes about how to deal with bullies and be a leader in difficult situations. The action sequences are mostly simulated, so this is something you could take the entire family to. I was engaged the whole film and enjoyed it.

Rating: C+