Red Dawn (2012)

Like the original, the premise is absolutely bonkers. There’s just no way North Korea, Russia, or any country can suddenly parachute into the US without us having advance notice. EMP device or otherwise. Secondly, no nation in their right mind would invade the US with troops on the ground, as there is nothing to be gained by it. As the movie alluded to in its opening montage, a real attack would be cyber, financial, terrorist, or missile.

So in this update, apparently the North Koreas and Russians have jointly invaded the US. Why? Who knows. My first thought was that this could simply be one long commercial for the NRA. Americans must have their guns to stem off a land based attack. It could happen. As the story progresses, we learn that the invading countries are concerned with our moral compass, and have expended untold resources (which they don’t have) in order to help us rebuild our culture to one more socially conscious? Seriously? A screenwriter actually wrote this crap?

The cast is pulled straight out of an episode of Dawson’s Creek. It was tough mustering any sympathy for whether they lived or died. We are asked to believe that these Ambercrombie dorks are supposed to save civilization after an afternoon of training in the woods.

Then out of nowhere comes a shoehorned Subway ad, further degrading the movie’s dignity. Subway is the absolute worst when it comes to product placement, bringing entire TV series to their knees with their flaccid six inch subs. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. It’s that this movie was a war atrocity.

Rating: F