They Came Back (Les Revenants) (2004)

Zombie fans beware! This French POS de résistance is mind numbingly slow, like the undead in the film. Regular folk inexplicably return from the dead, sporting the Sears summer line, like nothing ever happened. How do the living react? They hold a community meeting of course, discussing how to reintegrate them into society. No biggie. It’s not like thousands of people just returned from the dead without any explanation. Oh wait, that’s exactly what happened!

No brains are eaten. No headshots are made. Nothing is edited out. The camera rolls endlessly on NOTHING! I nearly joined the ranks of the undead trying to stay awake before the credits rolled.

I thought maybe there would be a big payoff at the end; possibly giving some clues as to where they came from and why they came back. Nope! They simply disappear into the sewer system, while others are gassed following some random explosions around the city? What!?! Total horseshit.

I only saw this because I caught wind of a zombie French TV series based on the movie. Now I have series reservations about the show.

Rating: F

[Update: The series is AWESOME! Skip the movie and watch the show.]