Nature’s Grave (Long Weekend) (2008)

An unnerving and mostly depressing Australian thriller where the advisory is mother nature. The two main characters have few redeeming qualities, making it hard not to root for the Outback to hurriedly take them out.

Rating: D+

Taxi (2004)

Jimmy Fallon was wasted in this, and it likely ruined any shot he had of a movie career. He plays a doofus cop only slightly brainier than that dipshit Corky Romano, with Queen Latifah as a superhero taxi driver. She drives around in some New York City from another dimension, a dimension where traffic doesn't exist. Rarely funny and completely dumb. Brazilian super models couldn't save the day.

Rating: D-

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

A solid humans versus aliens action flick. It follows the traditional formula set by Independence Day and so many others, so don’t expect any surprises. The high quality production and competent cast elevate this above the likes of Skyline. It looks and sounds great, especially on Blu-Ray. When you rent this, you get exactly what you expected. Enjoy.

Rating: C+

Evolution (2001)

Despite a solid premise for comedy, they didn't do much with it. Yes, there were some funny scenes, but overall it was a let-down. Julianne Moore was wasted. David Duchovny was OK, as was Orlando Jones, but there were too many long stretches between site gags.

Rating: D+

Pontypool (2008)

Barely a zombie movie, which initially drew me in. What hooked me was Stephen McHattie’s mesmerizing radio voice. The film had me for a while. I was skeptical, but intrigued. However, as the explanation for the cause of the zombiness was laid out, I lost interest. The final act was weak too.

Rating: D+

A Day Without A Mexican (2004)

The premise of this movie sounded both funny and original, so I gave it a shot. What a huge disappointment. Everything about this film screams B movie: the acting, direction, editing, story, etc. It was very poorly made. But worse than that, they took a funny concept and completely ruined it. Everything they intended to be funny--wasn't.

While some of the music in the film was catchy, that doesn't mean I need to hear the entire song while an endless montage of clips goes by that adds nothing to the film. Save yourself some time and hire a couple Mexicans to watch this film so you don't have to. You'll thank me later.

Rating: F

Horrible Bosses (2011)

Dark and funny. It’s a joy seeing Charlie Day do his thing outside of Sunny in Philadelphia. I actually really liked Jennifer Aniston playing the slutty dentist too. I forgot how funny she can be in the right role. This wasn’t one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in the last year—no huge belly laughs—but it was consistently funny.

Rating: C+

El Diablo (1990)

This was an HBO production of the western/action/comedy genre. It was pretty clever and funny throughout the entire film, although it took 15 minutes to get going. I'd say it's worth the rental.

Rating: C

Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)

A pure grindhouse movie with the regulatory whacked out plot and buckets of blood. Nice to see Rutger Hauer return to the screen, I just wish it was more in line with Mickey Rourke’s comeback. Hobo was a bit over-the-top for me. And yes, I realize that’s the point of these films. Still, I prefer a solid foundation for the craziness to build upon.

Rating: D

Æon Flux (2005)

Stupid previews and their expectation raising trickery. The film wasn't all bad. Some cool special f/x, hot costumes, and creative ideas. It was a weaker version of The Island, sort of. Truthfully, I enjoyed Charlize Theron much more in this season of Arrested Development.

Rating: D+

Unknown (2011)

Somewhat implausible and slow moving at the start, but things eventually pick up speed and come to a resolution at the end. Not a bad spy movie, although Taken was much better.

Rating: C

Severance (2006)

There was a series of commercials with this same plot… some online job site I think. Anyway, they do in 20 seconds what this film couldn't do in 90 minutes: shock their audience and make them laugh. So many films with potential end up bombing for lack of competent writing and direction. I wouldn't call Severance a bomb, but it's certainly a miss.

Rating: D

Ink (2009)

When you hear the story about how this film was made, and for how little, you’ll be amazed at how great it looks. Extremely creative cinematography and editing. The story is engrossing and unique. Make sure and watch the special features—they are worth it.

Rating: B-

Firewall (2006)

Formulaic action thriller with an over-the-hill Harrison Ford. Entertaining in the moment, forgetful in the end.

Rating: C-

Moon (2009)

As far as movies with 1 actor go, this one is pretty good. Sam Rockwell puts in an amazing performance as the lonely astronaut. The production looks much better than its indie funding should allow. I enjoyed the Sundance Q&A from the bonus section as well.

Rating: B-

Black Book (Zwartboek) (2006)

Director's always seem to step up their game when working on material that is close to their hearts, and Paul Verhoeven is no exception. A fantastic historical drama set in 1944 Netherlands. Compelling story, acting, and direction. The film is long, but it never felt slow or boring. An unappreciated gem waiting to be discovered on DVD.

Rating: B+

The Karate Kid (2010)

A little surprised at the many similarities between the original and new version. I'd heard they were very different. It was a well made update with sincere homages and clever twists. It helps that Jaden can act as well as bend like a pretzel. His training shows and helps with the authenticity of the film. It dragged in a few spots and bordered on juvenile at times, but overall they've turned out a great family film. A rarity these days.

Rating: B-

Armored (2009)

A very bland set up leading to the action. The artificial banter and “comedy relief” were weak. There was no discussion as to what would be done with the money after the job. It’s not like you can suddenly pay off your mortgage and buy a fancy car. It didn’t feel realistic. The action, once it started, was pretty good. There are much better armored car movies out there though.

Rating: C-

The Manchurian Candidate (2004)

It walks a thin, dark line between believable and science fiction. While the acting was good, the story wasn't very compelling to me and I was let down with how things wrapped up.

Rating: C

The Company Men (2010)

Having been laid off twice in the last two years, this film really resonated with me. I thought it was well told, for the most part. Great cast too. It could have been better if one of the 3 main characters had made less than $160K when they were let go. Perhaps a bit more relatable to the average movie watcher.

Rating: C+

Serenity (2005)

The movie is great as a stand-alone feature, but if you've seen the series on TV or DVD, it's even better. All the TV characters are there, albeit taller on the big screen. As far as I can tell, the movie jumped around the TV series timeline, but also went far ahead to where the show was slowly taking us. It gave fans the closure that we so rarely get from our favorite TV shows that get prematurely canceled.

Rating: B-

Devil (2010)

Decided to give this one a shot despite a streak of misses by M. Night. It wasn’t bad—better than Lady in the Water anyway. There’s some suspense, in an 80’s horror kind of way. The plot is middling. Wasn’t thrilled with the ending.

Rating: C-

The Red Violin (Le Violon Rouge) (1998)

An epic drama that follows the life of a violin from its creation to the present day. The movie spans several continents and switches from Italian to French to German to English to Chinese... it's quite the project. Historically interesting and worth checking out.

Rating: B-

Skyline (2010)

A very shallow, poorly written alien invasion flick. It's as if an artist did up a really cool rendition of some alien space craft, and somebody else decided to make a movie out of it. No character development. Completely implausible reactions to everything. Did this go straight to DVD? It should have.

Rating: F+

Bad Boys II (2003)

Ridiculous is the word that comes to mind, over and over again. Everything is over-the-top to the point of becoming farcical. Should we have a Hummer plow through shantytown homes down the mountainside? Sure, what the hell. Very little thought is given to realism in Michael Bay films. Just as long as it looks cool on screen and stuff is blowing up. This is slightly better than the first, but not by much.

Rating: D+

Bad Boys (1995)

The sad thing is, I remember loving this movie when it came out. There’s something to be said about growing wiser with age. Watching this again, I could only groan through the bad dialogue, clichés, and Michael Bay explosions. The one redeeming quality? Tea Leoni was looking fine.

Rating: D

Lost in Translation (2003)

Great indie film. Performances were all solid, but I think Bill Murray was recognized by the Academy and Globes for his body of work rather than this specific role. They seem to do that a lot. I think he should have won for What About Bob? -- they always overlook amazing comedic performances by comedians because they don't see it as a stretch, but he went far beyond his normal schtick in that role.

Back to Translation. Sofia used a very loose, casual shooting style that worked nicely for this film. The plot is really simple, if you'd call it a plot at all. It's more about people interacting at difficult periods in their lives, which happens to occur in Tokyo. One thing it does really well is make viewers want to visit Japan. At least it did for me. Check out the Behind the Scenes feature on the DVD - great!

Rating: B+

Brotherhood (2010)

More cinematic evidence showing the true nature of fraternities and the brainwashed imbeciles who belong to them. If you joined a fraternity in college and are reading this, know that I put you in the same moronic group as smokers, people who watched Two & A Half Men, and white supremacists: The stupidest 1% of America.

The movie itself was fast paced and well constructed, albeit frustrating to watch.

Rating: C

Brigham City (2001)

As a Mormon, I was a little nervous going into this film. Yeah, I saw Dutcher's first effort, God's Army, and was moderately impressed. (for a first effort) This is a great sophomore film and doesn't get quite so schmaltzy into the religious stuff as God's Army did. Is there plenty of LDS footage and jargon? Oh yes! Do we get to see a baptism, Sacrament Meeting, family prayer, and the Aaronic Priesthood going door to door? Sure do! Does it impede or take away from the story being told? Not at all!

What we got here is a zig zagging murder mystery that takes place in a small, Mormon town: Brigham City. I've driven through Brigham City, and it's exactly as it's portrayed in this movie. I was afraid punches would be held because of who was directing and where it comes from, but I was actually on the edge of my seat in some parts; sucked in emotionally in others. Brimley added great comedic moments which broke up the tension. And yes, I was stupefied as the rest of you on who the killer was. I suggest not even worrying about it. Just sit back, pop in this DVD, and enjoy.

Rating: B-

Watchmen (2009)

I wasn't sure what kind of movie to expect going in, and now, having seen it, I'm not quite sure what kind of movie I saw. I thought of "Sin City", but in full color, including the requisite Bloody Red. However, Watchmen aspires to be much more than Sin City. It's a thinking man's movie in addition to being a "bones popping out of skin" man's movie. There are plenty of shout-outs to Snyder's previous film "300" as well.

I liked the back and forth storytelling style we've grown accustomed to from shows such as LOST. There's a lot happening onscreen, but I never felt confused. Zack Snyder's signature touch is transfused in the celluloid. Characters are rich and obscene. Long dramatic stretches will abruptly be interrupted with extreme bouts of violence. The kind of brutality that is so over-the-top that it makes you giggle with immoral delight.

Visually, it's a great film, but conceptually, the story is not as compelling as it would like to be.

Rating: B

The Tourist (2010)

This should have been classified under fantasy, because nothing in the film resembled real life. I like my mystery thrillers with a bit more substance. It felt like everyone was simply going through the motions.

Rating: C-

Mr. Brooks (2007)

It's about time the serial killer genre came out with a decent film to represent itself. Maybe I haven't thought about it because of the sheer brilliance of the Showtime drama Dexter. You can tell this film was adapted from a good book. The plot is well thought out. Characters unfold in layers. The pacing is just right. It felt bookish, but in a good way.

I liked Kevin Costner in this role. I didn't know beforehand that Dane Cook was in it. This helps to balance out some of the doofus roles he's taken. Brooks is an interesting thriller, and a worthy rental selection.

Rating: B-

Rubber (2010)

There was an opportunity here to make a quirky, original revenge flick featuring a rubber tire as the main character. Done right, it could have been awesome. Done wrong, and you get this film.

Rating: D-

Bedazzled (2000)

Elizabeth Hurley sizzles in one sexy outfit after another. If she's the devil, show me where I can sell my soul. (j/k) The movie was fun too.

Rating: C

Blue Valentine (2010)

The story of unhappiness. Time seems to stand still during uncomfortable scenes. Maybe that’s what they were going for. I loved the child molester joke she told on the bus though. It was a funny oasis in an otherwise serious and depressing wasteland of a film.

Rating: D+

Far From Heaven (2002)

Really liked the retro feel of this movie. The acting was great too, especially from Julianne Moore. A little depressing for my taste though.

Rating: C+

The Mechanic (2011)

Did this tired story really need to be told again? I’m not convinced this run-of-the-mill action flick needed to be made. It’s not terrible—just full of implausible scenarios. Overall, unnecessary.

Rating: C-

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

Looks fantastic on DVD, but the story was a bit too sci-fi/fantasy/spiritual for me. There is an extra disc chock full of extras, but most aren't worth checking out.

Rating: C

I Am Number Four (2011)

Weak character development and dialogue. Along the lines of Jumper. An ok premise poorly executed. The chick from Glee was nice to look at though. Cool special effects too.

Rating: D+

Snow Falling on Cedars (1999)

Slooooooooow. The director did "Shine", so I thought this might be good, but it needed some serious editing. The movie got bogged down with too many prejudice issues, failed romances, and flashbacks.

Rating: D+

Mesrine: Part 2: Public Enemy #1 (2008)

Spent most of the film waiting for this a-hole to get his due. How did such a smug ignoramus escape permanent incarceration for so long? The movie is watchable, but I hated the main character too much to enjoy it.

Rating: D+

Blue Juice (1995)

Even Catherine Z's hotness could not save this jumbled mess of a movie. For a film about surfing, there was surprisingly very little surfing at all.

Rating: D-

Thor (2011)

People have been saying how great this is, but as we know, people are stupid. Thor isn’t good. It’s your typical comic book movie with a boring plot and shallow characters. The only redeeming qualities are the funny lines given by Portman’s intern. The rest is smoke and mirrors.

Rating: D