Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)

Instead of pulling a cute bunny out of his hat, Mr. Magorium opened his hand to reveal a giant turd. Great casting could not save this poorly written master-piece of shit.

Do I really care if Natalie Portman will ever be able to live up to her potential on the piano? No! Do I really care if this Willie Wonka meets K-PAX freak show is an alien or just an eccentric pedophile? Not really. Was I rooting for the 37 year old man trapped inside a little boy's body, Magorium's sidekick, to succumb to a tragic toy related accident? Oh yes!

What really blows my mind is I loved the directors previous film: Stranger Than Fiction. Stay far away from this one.

Rating: F

Super 8 (2011)

It dawned on me halfway through the movie that films like Goonies and E.T. are a lost art. Fortunately, Abrams and Spielberg team up to create a hybrid of both. The movie is told through the eyes of childhood friends. The dialogue is fun and funny. JJ borrows the few good parts from Cloverfield to keep the audience in suspense. I won’t go so far as to say this is a childhood classic, but it’s certainly refreshing to see someone headed in that direction for a change. I had to suffer through previews for The Zookeeper and Mr. Poppers Penguins. It was like a hobo crapping in my eyes.

Rating: B+