Cabin Boy (1994)

Cabin boy’s sense of humor is campy and weird, but not without its merits. The first half is much more entertaining than the off-the-rails second half. The laughs slowed to a crawl by the end.

Rating: D+

The Fifth Element (1997)

I love Luc Besson's depiction of the future in this film; the special effects and imagery are amazing. The story is a bit of a stretch, but I like when directors think outside the box, rather than keeping with the same, standard formula. Chris Tucker makes an early debut as a whacked out space DJ. Gary Oldman returns as another fabulous evil character, and Bruce Willis shows off his acting chops. Mila Jonavich is great, and super cute in this role. The movie is a lot of fun and a must see.

Rating: B+

Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982)

I saw one of the earlier cuts of this film ages ago, and I wasn't impressed. But with so many people praising it over the years, I figured it was time to give it another shot. Perhaps my young sensibilities hadn't matured enough to appreciate this dark noir.

Turns out I was right the first time. Terrible character development. I seriously didn't care about anyone in the movie. Deplorable editing. The camera pans for eons across a ridiculous cityscape of "the future". They could have cut out a good 30 minutes of fluff and used that time to actually tell a story instead.

In Blade Runner's vision of the future, it appears Asian Vampires have taken control of the universe, as it's dark 24/7 and the city has turned into one giant China Town. Space travel is a cinch, however everyone still uses Commodore 64 technology. I have more computing power with my cell phone than they have in that entire city.

Maybe I'm missing the underlying social commentary. But who really gives two craps about underlying social commentaries when all you really want is to be entertained? Thank goodness Ridley Scott redeemed himself in his later years. One of the most over-hyped films of all time.

Rating: F