Enola Holmes 3 (2026)

 

They cranked out this third Maltese turd with a snoozer of a plot and underuse of key characters. Lacked the spark of the first two. Didn’t need to be made.

Rating: C-

Enola Holmes 2 (2022)

 

Another dangerous mystery for the Holmes siblings to solve. Moriarty is introduced, and at the very end: Dr. Watson. Enjoyed the first one a bit more. 

Rating: C+

Enola Holmes (2020)

 

It’s a shame Millie Bobby Brown’s talents were wasted on Stranger Things rather than an Enola Holmes series. Still, this first film manages to tell a layered story that sets up two sequels, to date. 

Family friendly, yet with sufficient danger and action to make outcomes matter. It’s a fun take on the Holmes universe. 

Rating: B-

Novocaine (2001)

 

A dark dark black comedy thriller where Steve Martin seemingly resumes his role as the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors. 

Rating: C+

Terminator Salvation (2009)

 

Just because 3 movies, a TV series, and a theme park ride have paved the path before you, doesn't mean you get to skimp on character development and story. Salvation dives right in, as if the audience has been waiting anxiously for the next installment.

Lots of robots and explosions with little to make the audience care who lives or dies. This is what your get when MCG is directing. His style may suit the Charlie's Angels crowd, but it's not suited for anything with depth.

Rating: D

Fight Club (1999)

 

I was reminded of The Sixth Sense, which also came out in 1999. Where after a second viewing, the twist/reveal seems so obvious. It’s a dark, mind-bending, testosterone-filled, violent punch to the head. 25 years ago, it spoke to me a little more than it does now. 

Rating: B

Cinderella (2015)

A nice live action update of the fairytale. Thankfully not done as an obnoxious musical. Great casting. Not dumbed down for the kiddos.

Rating: C+

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Oh the horror! And I'm not talking about the blood gushing from a freshly slit throat. No, it's the singing. Endless singing of Broadway style show tunes that were nearly the death of me.

I have to keep reminding myself that musicals can actually be good, like "Once" and "Across The Universe", that came out around the same time. It was maddening to be smacked over the head with such retched chortling from the Sweeney Todd cast. A bloody, ear piercing, mess.

Rating: F

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

One of my favorite books as a kid, so I was really hoping they would nail it on screen. Something I didn't feel the original pulled off. For the most part, this was a good edition. I loved the beginning of the film, the way everything was set up and the choice of characters.

I was skeptical of Depp's portrayal of Willy Wonka. He was a bit odd, but not odd enough to really annoy me. I thought the second half of the movie turned slightly sour. Visually stunning. Worth seeing. But there is room for improvement.

Rating: C+

The Lone Ranger (2013)

Long, dumb, and uninspired. Clichéd characters act out clichéd scenes in a two dollar script. The actress who played Alice in BBCs Luther deserved better.

Rating: D-

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Yet another reminder that style is nothing without substance. The movie looks amazing. The characters are unique and colorful, yet I don't care about any of them. There's absolutely no depth to be found. A bunch of talking animals and ridiculous looking people interact on screen, but none of them evoke the slightest emotional reaction from the viewer.

The biggest blunder of all is that the film has no audience. With the PG rating, you'd think this was created for kids, however, this would simultaneously bore and scare kids to tears. Adults? Nope. We were unstimulated and confused. Teens? There's no romance or believable action. Burton took the same unmarketable path as Jonze did with Where The Wild Things Are. Self gratification over audience appeal.

Rating: F+

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

This is a fun one for the entire family. It will entertain the kids as well as parents. Plenty of adult humor that will go right over the little ones heads. Good stuff.

Rating: B-

Les Misérables (2012)

Forced myself to watch Les Misérables, the final Best Picture nominee I’ve yet to see. By and large, I hate traditional musicals. Show tunes make me ill. Les Misérables starts off with a grating slave song, and continues to deliver one bleating number after the next.

I was having nightmarish flashbacks to when Chicago won Best Picture in 2002. What a train wreck that was. If they’d shut their warbling mouths for two seconds in favor of more dialogue, I might actually be able to enjoy the film for more than a minute at a time. But EVERYTHING’S got to be a frigging song with them!

Rating: F

Planet of the Apes (2001)

One of the big disappointments of the year. There were so many possibilities for a better plot. So many creative ideas that they only touched on. The special effects, sound, costumes, etc were all great, but they just didn't use them to their best potential. Things could have been developed so much more.

The biggest letdown was the ending. I won't give it away, but not only did it not make sense, it was extremely anti-clamatic.

Rating: D+

The King’s Speech (2010)

As good as everyone said it was. A finely crafted film with outstanding performances by Firth and Rush. As someone who generally avoids British period pieces, I can assure you this one will hold your attention and leave you feeling warm inside.

Rating: B+

The Wings of the Dove (1997)

The cinematography was great and I enjoyed the simple story, but I'll never warm up to the idea of a love story ending in tragedy, as this one did. I want to feel good at the end, not depressed.

Rating: C-