Transformers (2007)

What they pulled off on screen was truly eye popping magic. Michael Bay can summon up special effects like Moses commands water. Unfortunately, his unearthly powers are useless against the evil forces of dialogue & character development. It's like watching a tired after school special on steroids. Seriously, could they not come up with something better than "hot girl ditches meathead jock for skinny nerd with a destiny?" And how many high schools actually have a girl who looks like Megan Fox? Not mine.

Despite the abhorrent banter, the film is still very watchable. I grew up with these toys, and it was fun seeing them come to life on screen.

Rating: C

Max Payne (2008)

It's not that the acting was terrible, just the script. One bad line after the next—my ears started to bleed. You can't even make a case for the characters being one dimensional. You'll have to bust out the fractions. This movie makes The Punisher look like a Shakespearean play. 

Rating: F

A Good Day To Die Hard (2013)

No surprises here. There’s a never-ending car chase which causes millions in damage and likely dozens of lives. You know, the type that has never happened in the history of human kind and never will, because it’s logistically impossible. The two McClain’s survive injuries that would put down a superhero. It’s an 80’s action flick with today’s technology and budget.

Rating: C-

Benchwarmers (2006)

Not much that's redeemable from this train-wreck of a movie. Not even Napoleon Dynamite can save it.

Rating: F+

Street Kings (2008)

It's hard to impress audiences these days with a dirty cop thriller, what with The Departed, Training Day, and F/X's The Shield. How do you live up to those? You got to give Street Kings props for making a worthy effort. Things start out a bit convoluted, but improve as the film progresses.

Rating: C+

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

I liked the original better, but still had fun watching this one. My entire house was thumping from the fantastic sound on the DVD. If you aren't feeling a movie like this instead of just watching it, then its faults will get in the way of your viewing pleasure.

Acting was very poor. Ludacris gave the best performance in my opinion. Great car racing scenes and plenty of action. I thought the short movie prequel on the DVD was a great idea... linking both movies together.

Rating: C

Armored (2009)

A very bland set up leading to the action. The artificial banter and “comedy relief” were weak. There was no discussion as to what would be done with the money after the job. It’s not like you can suddenly pay off your mortgage and buy a fancy car. It didn’t feel realistic. The action, once it started, was pretty good. There are much better armored car movies out there though.

Rating: C-