9 (2009)

 

The animation is beautiful. It's a shame the story is so ho-hum, with an even lamer ending. I expected something much better. 

Rating: C-

The Promotion (2008)

 

I laughed hard and often. The two banjo playing, gay neighbors are a hoot. Loved the customer comment cards. 

Rating: C+

The River Wild (1994)

 

I watched this in the theater and later on DVD. The rafting shots are authentic and believable. Acting is solid. Kevin Bacon plays a complex bad guy, as he has so many times in his career. 

Rating: C+

The Aviator (2004)

 

Too long. Too dark. Too crazy. 

Despite a 3 hour running time, it still felt like pieces were missing. Many scenes didn't make sense, interrupting the flow. 

Rating: C-

Never Been Kissed (1999)

 

A big theme of this movie is older folks perving out on underage high school kids, and everyone is cool with it. Feels a bit more cringe 25 years later, but still quite funny in parts. 

Rating: C+

Magnolia (1999)

 

Paul Thomas Anderson was a superstar back then. Seems like half of Hollywood stars in this film. The fast pacing and shifting storylines keep the audience engaged from beginning to end. 

However, watching it now, I’m reminded how sad and tragic everyone is. It’s a pretty depressing 3 hours. Heavy stuff. Tom Cruise’s Academy Award nomination was well deserved. It was a standout performance in a sea of great performances.  

Rating: B

Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018)

Creative and fun when it’s being creative and fun. More overbearing than the first in parts. The Disney princesses were a nice touch.

Rating: C

The Year Of The Dog (2007)

Felt as if I chased some sleeping pills with a shot of Nyquil. The laughs are few and far between. Slow plot, sad people, and stupid pets. 

Rating: D-

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

On par with the other Kong movies I’ve seen. Entertaining and flashy, but not groundbreaking cinema.

Rating: C

The Good Girl (2002)

Quirky, dark comedy about the life of a drug store clerk in a dull town who is unhappy with everything around her. When an odd new clerk enters her life, things begin to spin out of control. Solid indie cast makes it worth checking out.

Rating: C+

The Lobster (2015)

Weird, but intriguing. Unfortunately they overdid it on the weird side instead of exploring the material in a more satisfying way. It’s not a bad movie, but I definitely felt disappointed at the end.

Rating: D+

Dark Water (2005)

All creeped up with nowhere to go. There's a great mood throughout the film, but the story is worn out and boring. How many versions of this plot are we going to copy from Japan anyway?

Rating: D

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)

Mostly watchable until the unfulfilling end. I'm not exactly sure who the audience for this film is, and I don't think the producers knew either. I was never scared, thrilled, humored, or compelled. It was mildly amusing and that's all. Pretty weak acting by the two teenage leads as well.

Rating: C-

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

A bit silly and loosely put together, but entertaining enough to warrant a single viewing.

Rating: C

We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011)

The story is about an obnoxious kid slowly turning into a psychotic adolescent. I wish the movie had been called “We Need To Put Kevin Out Of His Misery”, and had only lasted 5 minutes.

The director utilizes a herky-jerky narrative style that takes some getting used to. Almost everyone is unlikeable and dreary. Add to that a love scene between Tilda Swinton and John C. Reilly. Really?? Could anything be less appealing?

I’m not sure what the point of the film was, besides leaving the audience depressed and unsatisfied. Is the moral of the story: If you have a kid still pooping his pants after the age of 5, he’s likely to become a homicidal maniac? I was on the edge of my seat at the end when the big question was finally asked. WHY did you do it? Prepare to be completely let down. Better yet, don’t watch the movie to begin with.

Rating: D-

Carnage (2011)

Carnage is a film based on a play, directed by Roman Polanski, although it feels more like David Mamet. Great fun watching four competent actors go at each other with sharp dialogue. I am ever so grateful to Quentin Tarantino for shining a light on Christoph Waltz so the world could see more of him on screen. He is a marvel to watch. John C Riley is no slouch himself. He’s just been doing genius level work for American audiences a lot longer.

Rating: B-

Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

A fun homage to Tron and old school video games in general. Only the hardiest nerds will catch all the references. I could have done without that terrible Rhianna song midway through, but other than that, it was lighthearted fun.

Rating: C+

Cyrus (2010)

I like quirky, dysfunctional love stories, such as As Good As It Gets, Punch Drunk Love, or Benny & June. Cyrus is a fine example. I'm glad they played it straight rather than going the Step Brothers route of crazy high-jinx. Jonah is actually very reserved in this role and shows some depth most people didn't know he had. Marisa is gorgeous as always. Riley is consistently great. Fun little move.

Rating: B

Step Brothers (2008)

Needlessly vulgar, but still pretty dang funny a lot of the time. The drum kit violation was one of my favorite scenes.

Rating: C

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Like Anchorman, there are some hilarious scenes and jokes that will
leave you rolling, but overall, it's an average comedy.

Rating: C