Million Dollar Baby (2004)

 

Huge downer of a movie.

Surprise! We have to take the leg. 

Surprise! Your family sucks ass and wants your money.

Surprise! You feel sorry for yourself and want to die.

Surprise! your best friend doesn't want to take your life so you 

bite your own tongue and slowly bleed out.

Surprise! That didn't do the trick and you're still alive.

Surprise! Your best friend comes around and decides to off you after 

all. 

Go watch Girlfight and leave this one off your list. 

Rating: D

Synchronic (2019)

I wish I could pop some Synchronic right now so I could go back in time to tell myself not to watch this movie. 

Rating: F

Ant-Man (2015)

A rare superhero movie that works on all levels. Great story development. Funny script. Action that expertly straddles the line between cool and ridiculous. Throwback effects from Honey I Shrunk The Kids. (When is that remake coming out?) It was all there. Wish they hadn’t made this a part of the Avenger’s universe, but oh well.

Rating: B-

Eagle Eye (2008)

Classic case of poor character development, resulting in the audience not being emotionally invested when they are thrown into all sorts of peril. Reality was pretty much ignored in favor of continuous action. Action that defied all plausibility.

Rating: D+

Pain And Gain (2013)

A real mess of a production. Seems like there was an interesting story buried underneath Michael Bay’s flash and bang style.

Rating: D-

Half Nelson (2006)

Ryan Gosling was justifiably nominated for his performance in this film. Strong characters and story line, with enough humor to keep it from becoming depressing. It didn't come off as a preachy, message film about drug use. Rather, it was simply a story about a dynamic teacher who happens to be a drug addict.

Rating: B

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Felt like the kind of vampire movie the team behind Ghost Rider might make. In case you’re a moron, that’s a bad thing. I’ve had a better time watching an episode of True Blood.

Rating: D

Man On A Ledge (2012)

This thing had more loose ends than the attendees of a prune festival. Like a bad episode of an average police drama. Surprised they were able to score so many competent actors for this project. Guess that’s what happens in a down economy. You got to take work where you can get it. Lame.

Rating: D-

8 Mile (2002)

Yeah, I tuned into the Eminem Show along with $58 Million worth of others opening weekend. How could I turn my back on Curtis Hanson who directed L.A. Confidential and Wonder Boys? The movie was pretty good. Didn't try and be more than it was, or turn Eminem into some glorified pop star overnight like that steaming pile of Mariah Carey Glitter.

Rating: C+

Real Steel (2011)

A lot of fun for the first 2 acts, then things got predictable in the third. It’s a formula movie with some really cool robot fighting. Unlike the Transformer movies, it doesn’t simply rely on robotic action to entertain. The machines take a back seat to the human acting. Extra points for Evangeline Lilly, one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Rating: C

The Hurt Locker (2008)

Fast paced and well made, but I would have liked more of a story arc. The movie is a string of events that take place in the lives of a bomb engineering crew. Movies like this are more suspenseful when you identify with the characters. It took most of the film before I had a reasonable idea who anybody was. It didn't help that I expected much more from a Best Picture nominee. But then again, The Blindside and Avatar were nominated, so there you go.

Rating: C+

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

I was a bit skeptical of this sci-fi romantic drama, but the chemistry between Emily Blunt and Matt Damon quickly won me over. Both are incredible actors that make you forget you’re watching a film. It was well balanced and smartly made. In the wrong hands this could have been a huge disaster. A great first time effort by director George Nolfi.

Rating: B-

The Manchurian Candidate (2004)

It walks a thin, dark line between believable and science fiction. While the acting was good, the story wasn't very compelling to me and I was let down with how things wrapped up.

Rating: C