Footloose (2011)

Annoyed from the get go with the scene of the “high school” students at their dance party, where everyone looks in their 20’s. I laughed when the cookie cutter kids got smashed to bits by the semi at the start. Good riddance. It’s a shame this film wasn’t about a killer truck driver who plows through teenage dance floors. Would have been a lot more entertaining.

No surprise Andie McDowell shows up as the crybaby mom. She has sobbed her way through one terrible movie after another. It was 5 minutes in and I wasn’t sure I could handle the rest. Things picked up when Quiet Riot came on, but of course the cool kid got a ticket for it. Later, one lap around the track with the film’s hottie and her friend is having a nervous breakdown. We get it. The town’s got a big stick up its butt.

This movie should have never been remade. Outlawed dancing is ridiculous and caring that much about not being able to is just stupid. This should have been called Step Up 9, or whatever number they are on. Maybe High School Musical 12. Either these “average” students have been watching waaaay too much So You Think You Can Dance, or else it’s normal for every kid in town to have Broadway level dance moves in their back pocket despite a ban on public dancing. Dumb all around.

Rating: F

We Bought A Zoo (2011)

Unrealistic and bland. He forks over every penny he has for this zoo and then they call him a fraud? Motives and reactions didn’t make any sense. It was never really clear why his son was so dark and twisted. That doesn’t come from your mom dying. The time they spend moping on and on about his dead wife are agonizing. His daughter was the one bright spot. This would have been a much better film if they simply bought a zoo and skipped all the dead mom crap. The sad truth of it all is that the zoo should have been shut down from the very start. Most of the animals are living in terrible conditions and being abused.

Here’s a much better plot. Single dad moves with his normal son and daughter to the country to buy a zoo and start over. Comedy ensues with the city folk running a zoo. Wife is a divorced crack addict. Romance blossoms with Scarlett J and Elle F. Drama happens when the mom cleans herself up and returns to claim the kids. Eventually mom realizes family is better off where they are at. Zoo marriage. Run credits. No need for downer-city with the dead wife and obnoxious son. No old photo montages to illicit tears.

Rating: D