Unconditional Love (2002)

 

A fairly uneventful film with terrible singing and music, a weak script, and subpar acting. 

Rating: D-

The Brothers Grimm (2005)

 

A hodgepodge of mismatched ideas, baffling characters, and bizarre scenes that make zero sense. Terrible plot, bad acting, and artificial looking sets. What were they thinking?

Rating: F

The Salvation (2014)

Wow, do they ever do a great job setting up the bad guys. Pure evil. The Walking Dead fans will cringe at the similarities to Negan. It’s tough watching this table get set for the battle between our Danish immigrant heroes and the American outlaw villains. Twas a hefty price paid when the dust finally settled on the last henchman.

Rating: B-

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)

What a strange, peculiar movie. It had the same potential to bomb in the way Time Bandits (which he directed) did, but instead they pulled it off.

Rating: C+

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Didn't care for the original--cared for this one even less. Is it too much to ask not to mix the pirate genre with sci-fi? I'd give my left leg in exchange for a wooden one for a decent R rated pirate movie with a real plot, sweet violence, and high production value. Go ahead. Name me one highly acclaimed pirate movie. You can't!

Rating: D

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

How could what I saw as being a very average, unoriginal, lengthy pirate movie have gotten people so excited... especially the ones who gave this an A+????? Fools!

I've always been a huge fan of Johnny Depp, and I thought he played his role well, but the rest of the movie was a let down for me. I kept getting a "been there, done that" feeling throughout. It seemed like one movie device after another was being thrown at me, including the ol' "I'll marry you to save so and so's life". Blah.

After the first sword fight, I was ready for something new. Instead, it was more and more sword fights, more pirate stereotypes, more regurgitation of every pirate movie ever done, etc. I didn't really have anyone to root for since I didn't care about most of the characters. They were all so poorly developed. They simply

interacted in front of me until the end. The ending had a high cheese factor too. Could have been much better in the hands of a competent director.

Rating: D+