Glass Onion (2022)

 

I keep getting sucked into these Knives Out films and then being disappointed when they inevitably collapse into a convoluted mess. There’s a bit of fun, sure. But mostly I’m just waiting around for dots to be connected. 

Rating: C

Love Actually (2003)

Intertwining love stories, some of which were much more entertaining than others. Really enjoyed Hugh Grant as the Prime Minister. I liked the Portuguese story too. 

Rating: C+

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

A bit of fantasy fun that never allows the viewer to become fully invested. The peril didn’t feel very real, and so evading it didn’t feel that satisfying. 

Rating: C

The Gentlemen (2020)

I won’t be the first person to write that this is a return to form for Guy Ritchie, so I won’t write that. Instead I’ll say that The Gentlemen is right up there with his first two films--Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels & Snatch. If that doesn’t get you wet in the panties, you should stop reading my reviews.

Within 5 minutes you will lean over to your mates and quickly whisper about how brilliant Hugh Grant is in his role. And what a role it is! Many actors would kill to get their teeth into a character like this, and most of them would squander the opportunity. Not Hugh Grant. He nails the cadence, accent, colloquialisms, gestures, and expressions masterfully. It’s an Oscar worthy performance that will sadly be forgotten come next award season.

But enough about Hugh. Guy Ritchie deserves a lot of credit too. It's his film through and through, which means I’d be crapping all over him right now if it sucked. Instead I’m piling on a hefty portion of praise. The screenplay shines and the editing elevates the material. I laughed a ton. Soundtrack is fun. Cast is solid. There are a lot of moving parts that were expertly balanced.

A word of advice. Pay attention. Don’t watch while trying to do other things. Put down your phone. Don’t watch with parents who constantly ask questions. And don’t turn on the subtitles! You won’t be able to keep up and ultimately they will be a distraction. Instead, drink some caffeine and give it your full attention. The accents are diverse and thick with slang, but the wordplay is a cocaine roller coaster.

Rating: B+

Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)

Hugh Grant played a great dirty bastard of a boss. I read the book while in Europe and loved it. The movie wasn't as good, but did a decent job.

Rating: C

Music And Lyrics (2007)

I like the idea of a washed-up has-been getting a second chance, however I wasn't feeling the magic in the romance department. Parts were cute, but overall, it was poorly written and moderately acted. Barrymore's character was highly annoying at times, with her pen clicking and constant mess making.

Rating: D+

American Dreamz (2006)

Some decent laughs at the expense of reality TV and current events.

Rating: C

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

Can’t say I saw the television show the movie is based on, but I liked the adaptation to the big screen. Wish they had made it into an updated TV series instead. Would have worked much better and allowed for deeper characters.

Rating: C

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Not nearly as enjoyable as the first, especially with having to overcome my incredible distaste of Rene Zellicker. Hugh Grant is the best part of the film--again. I love it when he plays scoundrels, which is really him just playing himself.

Rating: C

About A Boy (2002)

Loved it. Hugh's character was a joy to watch on screen. Fantastic soundtrack from Badly Drawn Boy.

Rating: B+

Small Time Crooks (2000)

Woody Allen is hit or miss with me, and this was a hit. A cute little PG rated rags-to-riches story with Woody playing the neurotic lead as usual. It was fun to watch, and held my attention.

Rating: C+

The Pirates!: Band of Misfits (2012)

Fun stop-motion animation can’t make up for a script devoid of humor and a banal plot that had me reaching for the FF button. It’s sad that the Academy has to scrape the bottom of the barrel for an animation nominee when there are plenty of other movies far more entertaining than this bland mess.

Rating: D-

Cloud Atlas (2012)

I read somewhere that Cloud Atlas was a book that nobody thought could be made into a competent film. I didn’t read the source material, but I felt the movie succeeded on many levels. Several complicated narratives taking place throughout different times and places in history were interwoven into one tale. The same themes were conveyed in each one.

The same troupe of actors were transformed via make-up and costumes in order to play a vast array of disparate characters. The sets and cinematography were very impressive. The film held my attention and kept me fully engaged throughout its lengthy runtime.

Despite all these positives, the movie didn’t blow me away or strike me as something I’d want to immediately tell others to see. I enjoyed it, but I didn’t love it. My reviews are generally based upon how entertained I was. And with that in mind, Cloud Atlas earns a…

Rating: B-

Two Weeks Notice (2002)

Sandra Bullock looks absolutely TERRIBLE in this movie! She produced this romantic drivel, you'd think she'd at least make herself look halfway decent. Nothing special except for some cute scenes here and there.

Rating: D+