Clash of the Titans (2010)

I have faint memories of seeing the original as a kid. They showed a trailer for it at the beginning of the Blu-Ray. Wow does it look terrible. This new version may look like a CGI wet dream gone awry, but it definitely looks a heck of a lot better than its stop motion for-bearer.

I thought mythology was a bunch of boring nonsense when I was in school, and my opinion hasn't changed as an adult. It's hard to get behind such a ridiculous story. If there's one thing Clash of the Titans does well, it's reminding people what a fantastic feat Peter Jackson did with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and how easily it could have been a pile of bloated effects and shallow characters. Case in point: This movie.

Rating: D-

John Carter (2012)

I read the series as a kid, but nothing in the film seemed familiar. Friends of mine who read the books more recently said they played fast and loose with their interpretation. If you can get past the terrible dialogue, delivery, and trite plot devices, it’s a fun way to spend a couple hours. Looked great on the big screen. Curious if they can make their money back.

Rating: C