The Holdovers (2023)

 

I love watching Paul Giammati act so much. This was a terrific role for him to slip into. A nice film for a quiet winter’s day. 

Rating: B-

Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023)

 

Not as dumb as some reviewers suggested. Not as funny as other reviewers made it out to be. 

Rating: C

Loop Track (2023)

 

A New Zealand thriller, of sorts, where the baddie is ever slowly revealed to those who don’t believe it exists. Most of the film is a slow buildup, but to me, this kiwi juice wasn’t worth the squeeze. 

Rating: C-

Thanksgiving (2023)

 

The full length Thanksgiving horror film inspired by Tarantino's Grindhouse, I guess. Mostly dumb and predictable, with needless gore. 

Rating: D-

Silent Night (2023)

 

The movie is called Silent Night and the lead is “silent” after catching a bullet in the throat. I get the pun. But why does everyone else in the film have to be mute? It’s weird that his wife never talks to him. That she’s ok with him buying a Mustang, artillery, a really expensive camera, etc while she’s holding down a remedial job. Where is all that money coming from? 

John Woo leaves all these plot holes uncovered in pursuit of a big revenge finale that plays more like a MAGAtard’s wet dream. Karanan had no business signing onto this eyesore. 

Rating: F 

The Iron Claw (2023)

 

Morale of the story, avoid fake wrestling at all costs and anyone who spends time watching it. I’ve never understood why people tune in to watch a bunch of roided out beefcakes pretend-fight each other. Then again, a third of our nation is functionally retarded. (this happens to overlap on a venn diagram with Trump supporters) 

The acting and commitment to their rolls was impressive. But the movie is such a downer filled with one bad decision after another. 

Rating: C-

Showdown At The Grand (2023)

The best things this film has going for it are the title and the concept. The execution was abysmal. Hard to tell which parts were meant to be purposefully bad. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. Sucked from start to finish. 

Rating: F

Fast Charlie (2023)

 

An aging Pierce shoots up the bad guys and gets the girl that’s 25 years younger. Everybody wins. 

Rating: C

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)

 

Having read the original Hunger Games books and watched the movies, it was inevitable I would see the prequels. A bit underwhelmed by the performances from the teen actors, but the heavyweights held it together. 

They covered a lot of story, but at the same time it felt rushed. I would have enjoyed this more as a TV series. Becoming emotionally invested in the tributes is what makes their stories special, and we only get a brief introduction before they get wiped out in the arena. Still, I was engaged and had fun. 

Rating: C+ 

The Creator (2023)

 

Reminiscent of District 9, Chappie, and Avatar. That’s pretty good company to keep. Gives you a lot to think about in between the many action sequences. Top 10 of the year contender. 

Rating: B

The Killer (2023)

 

An introspective assassin story that will likely disappoint if you are looking for a high intensity action flick. 

Rating: C

The Equalizer 3 (2023)

 

Another decent installment in the Equalizer series. Always satisfying to see the untouchable bad guys get touched by justice, usually in a bloody, violent way. 

Rating: C+

Begin Again (2013)

 

I love John Carney films because they make you feel like you’re a part of the music creating process. You get to be entertained by the story and hear some great tracks. Reminded me in some ways of his recent Flora & Son. 

Rating: C+

Flora And Son (2023)

 

John Carney delivers another delightful romantic musical, following in the footsteps of his previous films Once, Begin Again, and Sing Street. He has a way of perfectly blending original songs with his scripts. It’s a rare commodity. 

Rating: B

Barbie (2023)

 

This felt more like an elaborate Broadway stage production, and possibly will be one day. The original songs were weak. Some bits and jokes land, but I wasn’t invested in the plot. Unsurprisingly, the characters are thinly written. It’s hard to get emotionally invested in a bunch of dolls. (except for rare exceptions like Toy Story) 

The third act fell completely flat. In different hands, this premise could have developed into an entertaining movie instead of one that people are just pretending to like. 

Rating: C-

You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah (2023)

 

An Adam Sandler family production that did a pretty great job of portraying the adolescent drama of Gen Z tweens. Consistently funny despite a predictable story arc. 

Rating: C+

Wham! (2023)

I grew up listening to Wham on the radio, and later became a huge fan of George Michael. Enjoyed watching this doc because I never knew the origin story of their band and the transition into George’s solo career. Fun to relive the hits, styles, and scene from that time. 

Rating: C+

Bottoms (2023)

 

Unbelievably stupid, and not in a good way. The attempted humor felt forced. Almost nothing landed. The screenplay was ridiculous, the characters were shallow, and the acting was poor. No idea why Rotten Tomatoes rated this so highly. We got burned. 

Rating: F

Summer Of Soul (...Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised) (2021)

 

Questlove’s documentary about the Harlem Music Festival in 1969 that was largely forgotten by history. It was fun to see and hear the music, styles, and dancing from that time. 

Rating: C

Joy Ride (2023)

 

Asian RaunchCom that’s spicier than a bowl of Szechuan noodles. Seriously, it will burn your tongue, and possibly your eyes. 

Rating: C