The White Ribbon (Das Weiße Band) (2009)

I don’t usually go out of my way to watch black and white German films about small villages, but this one received rave reviews, so I gave it a shot. The story builds slowly, with developed characters and subtle clues to the mystery at hand. I sometimes forget how I can get pulled into a film through quality storytelling, without the use of eye popping color and booming sound effects.

In the end, things are left unexplained, which is especially frustrating to me. I like plots tied up in a bow before the credits roll. I’m a completionist. Despite some unanswered questions, I can’t deny that it was a powerful film crafted by a very competent hand. Still, I would rate it higher if I felt completely satisfied at the end, but I did not.

Rating: B-

Beasts Of The Southern Wild (2012)

A seemingly pointless film about people fighting to remain living in squalor, constantly at risk of drowning from the next storm. The entire cast has a combined IQ of a 4th grader. It felt like a message film, but I could only guess as to what that message was, and I have a feeling it’s not worth knowing. Dumb.

Rating: F

Resident Evil (2002)

This movie made me spill my ginger ale all over me and the couch. Some scenes really jump out at you. The story and acting were ok. Not a bad action movie, but not great either.

Rating: C

Ted (2012)

Amusing at times, but not laugh-a-minute. I liked that they made the bear visible to everyone, not just the owner. That storyline has been beaten to death. It could have been much worse.

Rating: C-

Bon Cop, Bad Cop (2006)

A French Canadian cop movie that felt very amateurish. Weak acting, script, and dialogue.

Rating: D

The Day (2011)

A dull post-apocalyptic film that moves at a snail’s pace for the first half, then bumbles through the big stand-off scene. Lighting is terrible. You can barely tell one side from the other. There’s no emotional depth to any of the characters, so it’s no big deal when people get killed off. Weak.

Rating: D

Unleashed (Danny The Dog) (2005)

This is one of a handful of action movies that not only earned its A+ rating, but held onto it after repeat viewings. 

Great writing by Luc Besson and direction by Louis Leterrier. Unleashed is the rare action movie that provides a deep, character driven story to go along with all the kick-ass violence. Morgan Freeman was a huge get for the casting director. Without him, the movie would not have reached the heights that it did. Bob Hoskins was another masterstroke in casting. I've rarely seen such complex villainy portrayed so well on screen.

Jet pulls out an Academy level acting performance out of nowhere, one that I've never seen him match since. He sells this movie with his facial expressions alone.

Oh, and the fight scenes are unreal. It's Gladiator and Bloodsport all rolled into one. It effortlessly shifts gears between mesmerizing fight sequences to compelling drama. And then you have Massive Attack doing the soundtrack. Brilliant concept. Excellent direction. First-rate fight scenes. Amazing performances. Great editing. Perfect from start to finish. I love this film.

Rating: A+

Sleepwalk With Me (2012)

An indie that feels very personal. I’m guessing it’s based on the writer’s life. Fortunately, the source material was handled with love and crafted into a very competent film. Funny and touching. Situations felt real. I really enjoyed it.

Rating: B-

Eurotrip (2004)

Not as good as Roadtrip, but there were some really funny scenes. My favorite part was when they suddenly became rich in Eastern Europe with $1.87. The guy quitting and slapping his bosses face when he gets tipped a nickel is terrific. Overall though, nothing great.

Rating: C-

Men In Black 3 (2012)

It’s almost always a mistake to work time travel into your movie plot. It’s rarely done right. I didn’t enjoy this third installment nearly as much as I remember enjoying the first two. The whole thing felt like rewarmed leftovers. A few cute moments here and there, but overall very bland.

 Rating: C-

Holy Smoke (1999)

I love movies that take you away to another place where you get to meet interesting people do interesting things. This is one of those movies. What a facsinating, agressive, deep, unique, and perplexing movie.

Harvey Keitel and Kate are at the top of their game and should have been nominated for Oscars. The supporting cast only makes the film better. Kate's mom deserved a nomination for Best Female in a supporting role. Great acting all around. 

Rating: A-

Near Dark (1987)

One of the worst vampire movies I’ve ever seen. Zero character development. Retarded plot. Terrible music by Tangerine Dream. Crude special effects.

Rating: F

Lawless (2012)

A very good Prohibition Era piece based on a real life story. Reminded me a lot of the fantastic FX show Justified. Terrific characters performed by quality actors. Solid film overall.

Rating: B-

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

I finally got around to watching this early 90’s quirky Australian dance comedy. It was entertaining, even for us non dance aficionados. Unpolished, but fun.

Rating: C

ParaNorman (2012)

A pretty cool animated film about zombies, witches, and ghosts. In the style of A Nightmare Before Christmas. Plenty of adult humor that kids will miss, assuming kids were into this movie. It’s probably a bit scary for them.

Rating: C+

Mr. Death: The Rise and Fall of Fred A. Leuchter, Jr. (1999)

A somewhat interesting documentary about a man who makes his living building and repairing machines used for capital punishment. It took a strange left turn into Holocaust denial, which I found less interesting. I was mostly annoyed at the slow pacing of the film.

Rating: D+

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

While the first two Batman movies transcended the superhero genre, this third installment does not. It’s simply an entertaining popcorn movie with A-list talent carrying the usual amount of plot holes and insanely coincidental occurrences.

Rating: C

Fish Tank (2009)

A British indie along the lines of Thirteen, but with less of a plot. The young leads did a good job.

Rating: C-

The Ballad Of Jack And Rose (2005)

An enjoyable, but slow moving indie with slightly odd characters dealing with the changes in their lives. Daniel Day Lewis is always fun to watch on screen. The film will hold your attention, but not leave much of a mark on your memory.

Rating: C

Kikujiro (Kikujirô No Natsu) (1999)

A boring Japanese film about a goofy kid and the weird guy who befriends him. They go in search of his mom, encountering what are supposed to be interesting characters along the way. Snoozefest.

Rating: F

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (2011)

I love Morgan Spurlock projects, and this one is no exception. Here he looks at the hand in glove relationship between product placement and  popular visual media. As someone who obtains most of his movie and TV content from, shall we say, “online” sources, this subject directly talks to the value I bring to the content creators, despite paying nothing for said content.

Do I bring value? I believe so. With product placement becoming the new standard for how companies advertise, what’s important to them is the number of eyeballs they reach, not how much the person has paid to watch their advertisement. The bigger the audience, the better. Therefore, if 10 million people download a movie for free and see the main character driving around in a BMW, does BMW really care how they came to see the movie? I don’t think they do.

This is one of many aspects on the product placement debate that Spurlock’s film will have you contemplating. It sheds light on something we know little about, yet completely surrounds us. And as usual, he does it in an interesting and entertaining manner.

Rating: B-

The Expendables 2 (2012)

Everything’s turned up to 11 in this sequel that nobody was asking for. Blood, body parts, bullets, and badly written lines litter the screen. Nothing I didn’t expect. What I hoped for though, was a middling script to hold things together. No dice. Shallow all the way through. Violence is meaningless in a movie unless it’s anchored down with something of substance. There’s none of that here.

Rating: F+

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

Right off the bat it was very Dawson’s Creek. Full of teen angst, bullies, students that look in their 20’s, and clichéd scenarios that only take place in make-believe high schools you see in the movies. I thought if they were going to reimagine Spider-Man so soon, they might try to improve upon the last one. The bar wasn’t exactly set very high.

The story unfolds in a very predictable and contrived path, full of happenstance and coincidence. The newest Mickey Mouse Club Peter Parker is as annoying as he is bland. A pointless, ridiculous, and unnecessary remake.

Rating: D-

Bernie (2011)

A custom made role in a quirky indie film to show off Jack Black’s wide array of talents. A nice change of pace after several dozen crap-heaps he’s starred in. Based on a crazy real life story. If you are a fan of director Linklater's earlier films, and you should be, then you will certainly enjoy this new character piece.

Rating: B-

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011)

A charming literary adaptation from John Madden, filmed on location in India, starring the who’s who of golden aged British actors. Heavy on characterization and dialogue, without lulling you to sleep. The cinematographer did not try to whitewash India as a mystical wonderland. It’s gritty and busy, yet not without its charms. Sure, they tied everything up in a neat bow at the end, but sometimes that’s exactly what we want.

Rating: B

You Can Count On Me (2000)

It took me until halfway through the movie to be sure I’d already seen it. Not a winning endorsement. There are some interesting characters, but nothing really grabbed me. The kid is the most likeable thing about the film.

Rating: C

300 (2006)

Visually stunning, violently satisfying, with stand-out characters to boot. This is what we hope for, but rarely receive, when going to see an action film.

Rating: B+

American Movie (1999)

I'd been wanting to rent this DVD for sometime after reading a lot about this documentary. I was happy they included his short film Coven in the extras.
Watched Coven first. A very low budget, black and white film about a freaky self help group. Glad I didn't pay $8 bucks to see it at Sundance when I was there. The movie did nothing for me, and the flimsy plot with bad dialogue was hard to follow. Rating: D-

American Movie, the documentary about the process of making Coven, and his first feature film, yet to be completed, Northwestern, was very entertaining. Slow and drawn out at times, but entertaining nonetheless.

A better title of the film would have been "How some white trash bums from Milwaukee managed to complete any film-making while drinking gallons of beer and dodging bill collectors."

Speaking of Bill, Uncle Bill was the hilight of this movie. A great scene is of Mark giving Uncle Bill a Thanksgiving Day bath after he got Bill drunk on Pepppermint Schnapps. You can't make this stuff up. That's why I love documentaries.

Rating: B-

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)

A Western revenge story courtesy of Clint Eastwood. It’s no masterpiece, but it wasn’t terrible either. Could do with a bit of editing and more competent dialogue. The violence is on par with the times when it was released, which is to say completely unrealistic. I’d say it could be improved by a remake, but then again this plotline has already been done to death in countless other films.

Rating: C-

Exit Through The Gift Shop (2010)

A fascinating documentary about art, artists, graffiti, promotion, hype, obsessions, culture, marketing, and selling out. I enjoyed it a lot.

Rating: B-

Casa De Mi Padre (2012)

Simply not funny. I get that they were poking fun at Mexican, low-budget melodramas, and that it was purposely shot to look “bad”. That doesn’t make it funny. Felt more like a weak Saturday Night Live skit stretched into a feature length film, but in Spanish.

Rating: D-

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Felt like the kind of vampire movie the team behind Ghost Rider might make. In case you’re a moron, that’s a bad thing. I’ve had a better time watching an episode of True Blood.

Rating: D

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

I love Wes Anderson films, even if I don’t necessarily award them glowing reviews. They are always creative, interesting, entertaining, and quirky. These are commodities I appreciate in film. Moonrise Kingdom possessed all of these qualities, portrayed by the usual cadre of Anderson players. Cute story amidst a magical landscape.

Rating: C+

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

If you are a fan of the regular parade of Judd Apatow movies, featuring the now familiar cast of friends, then you will most assuredly enjoy this one. Lots of crude humor mixed with just enough emotional drama. Several current members of SNL add a boost of funny as well. I laughed a lot.

Rating: B

The Adventures of Sebastian Cole (1998)

This is a relationship movie and a coming-of-age flick, but with a twist. You'll enjoy the banter back and forth between the interesting characters. No big stars, but I recognized several actors from other work.

Rating: C+

The Road (2009)

I love love love post apocalyptic films. Unfortunately, most of them are crap. This one is good, but quite dreary. I think I'd rather have the earth covered by zombies than the gray world depicted here. It held my attention, but at a price.

Rating: C

Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno) (2006)

The film is perfectly crafted under the watchful eye of Del Toro. Great pains, and I do mean pains, were taken to develop these rich characters. As one accustomed to a great deal of movie violence, there were a few scenes that made me squirm. Is it the best movie of the year? No way. Is it the best foreign film of the year? Maybe.

Rating: B

School of Rock (2003)

I saw this in the theater, and the sound was waaaaay too low. One of the reasons you go to the movies is to be blown away by the audio,  instead, it was like watching the TV from the other room. But, the movie itself was still lots of fun. Fun story, great kid actors, and cool songs. Enjoyed it.

Rating: C+

The Gift (2000)

What a creepy little picture. I'm a total wuss when it comes to scary movies, and even though I watched this one during the day, I was still clenching my fist, scrunching down into the couch, and watching through one eye during many scenes.

Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi are both wonderful in their roles. Other good performances were offered by Katie Holmes, Greg Kinnear, Hilary Swank, and even Keanu Reeves.


The movie is technically a thriller, but many other elements come into play. It had me guessing (mostly incorrectly) until the end. Make sure and watch the director and actor commentary featurette.
Rating: B-

Ondine (2009)

An Irish indie version of Splash, with Colin Farrell in the role of Tom Hanks. The highlight of the film was the superbly acted role of Colin's daughter Annie, played by Alison Barry. Amazingly, this is her one and only role to date. Fantastic young actress. The story is engaging and quaint.

Rating: C+

Saw (2004)

I "saw" this on cable, and it was much better than I expected. That's usually the case with movies I think are horror films but turn out to be psychological thrillers. I noticed several plot holes, but I appreciated the attempt nonetheless.

Rating: C+

The Searchers (1956)

I'll never understand why people ooh and awe over the so called classics. Old movies are filled with two types of acting: over and bad. This western had both in spades. Add to that having to endure the so-called "night" scenes with noon day shadows and landscapes clearly shot in Arizona and Utah, even though everyone is referred to as a Texan, and you start to question if renting anything before 1980 is a good idea.

At two hours, this movie felt like three. Embarrassing stereotypes and racial slurs were rampant. I watched this because it kept showing up on people's favorites list. People are clearly stupid.

Rating: D

Welcome To Mooseport (2004)

Everybody Loves Raymond was cute, but like some early Tim Allen films, his small screen persona didn't translate well to the big screen.

Rating: D+

Into The Wild (2007)

A difficult film to review. Reminded me a bit of 127 Hours and the Herzog documentary Grizzly Man. It’s a very long film that takes the scenic route to reach its destination, much as did Chris McCandless, the man the film is based on. Acting was top notch. Hal Holbrook's performance was really touching. The Alaskan landscapes are beautiful. I can see what drew him there.

But I have to agree with some things I found online after watching the movie. It wasn’t very smart to head into the wilderness without proper training or preparation. An interesting story nonetheless.

Rating: C+

Prometheus (2012)

A very slick piece of sci-fi eye candy from director/producer Ridley Scott. Seamlessly blends creationism, aliens, and horror into an interesting package. I’ve read online that this is not a direct prequel to the Alien franchise, but rather a bridge point to future films that may be prequels, but more likely will exist independently inside the Alien universe.

Either way, it’s a terrific foundation for stories to come. I really liked the DAVID android and hope to see more of him in future installments. The rest of the cast did a swell job too. Looking forward to many of the questions raised in Prometheus being answered down the line.

Rating: B-

The Cabin In The Woods (2011)

Not your run of the mill horror film, but that doesn’t necessarily make it good. The premise is seriously absurd. It’s a big pill to swallow in order to make it to the who’s-who-of-nightmares wreaking havoc at the end. That was a pretty good payoff, however it doesn’t make up for the rest of the film.

Rating: C-

Safe (2012)

Classic action movie with lots of violence and slick production. Nothing to write home about, but it does the job.

Rating: C

Headhunters (Hodejegerne) (2011)

A dark Norwegian thriller that walks the line between creative and absurd. This is a Scandinavian film that I believe could be remade better than the original.

Rating: C-

The Bourne Legacy (2012)

I saw this at a Korean megaplex. Not a peep the entire film from the audience. If only it was like that in the States. Tons of action and booming sound. A good one to see on the big screen. I’ve long forgotten the intricate back story of the previous 3 films, but I had a general idea of how this latest edition fits in.

Renner has become the go-to action star of this decade. He certainly looked bulked up for the role. Story was rather clichéd, but the execution had a massive budget behind it, so it looked cooler than most.

Rating: C+