The Fifth Element (1997)

I love Luc Besson's depiction of the future in this film; the special effects and imagery are amazing. The story is a bit of a stretch, but I like when directors think outside the box, rather than keeping with the same, standard formula. Chris Tucker makes an early debut as a whacked out space DJ. Gary Oldman returns as another fabulous evil character, and Bruce Willis shows off his acting chops. Mila Jonavich is great, and super cute in this role. The movie is a lot of fun and a must see.

Rating: B+

21 Jump Street (2012)

Plenty funny, but nothing groundbreaking here.

Rating: C

Children Of Men (2006)

A fine piece of film-making with terrific performances, however, I felt the story was a bit lacking in some places.

Rating: C+

The Prince and Me (2004)

This film follows the standard formula, not adding much too it along the way. Julia Stiles is alright, but the script could have used some polishing. High level of cheese throughout.

Rating: C-

John Carter (2012)

I read the series as a kid, but nothing in the film seemed familiar. Friends of mine who read the books more recently said they played fast and loose with their interpretation. If you can get past the terrible dialogue, delivery, and trite plot devices, it’s a fun way to spend a couple hours. Looked great on the big screen. Curious if they can make their money back.

Rating: C

Barbershop (2002)

Pleasantly surprised by this one. Lots of crossover appeal, speaking as a Caucasian. Characters were fun and interesting, tons of witty banter, and an ok story line. Had a good time watching it. Tons of extras on the DVD too.

Rating: C+

Superman Returns (2006)

I expected so much from the director of the first 2 X-Men films (since the third one sucked), but all I got were cool special f/x and not a whole lot more. The plot was ridiculous, and the pacing was way too slow for what is supposed to be a fast action superhero movie. There was such an opportunity here to make something fresh and new. Instead we received a compost pile of old clips and story lines. Not super at all.

Rating: D

Arthur (2011)

I anticipated this being terrible, so I was pleasantly surprised when it was average. Much of that was due to casting competent actors in all the supporting roles. I never saw the original, as I think Dudley Moore is a twat. Russell Brand filled in just fine. The plot follows the romantic comedy formula to a T. Nothing new there. As a whole, it’s one way to pass the afternoon.

Rating: C

Kingdom Of Heaven (2005)

If this film had come out a few years prior, it would have been a much bigger hit. But it didn't, and so after Gladiator, Troy, Alexander, and all the others, people simply got epic'd out. But not me. I love a good epic. And this one was solid. Ridley Scott directs a lengthy story in a huge film. Plenty of violent battles, booming sound, and gorgeous cinematography. It's not perfect, but it's a fun time.

Rating: B-

Ghost World (2001)

Not Another Teen Movie should have been the title of *this* movie, because it's truly anything but your average teen flick. Well written, funny, and full of characters you can relate to - this is a must see. Worth watching for the "White Trash Dude" alone.

Rating: A-

Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (2012)

Reminded me of the Tenacious D and Strangers With Candy movies. Their TV shows could be strange, yet often funny. But given the format of a feature length film, things fell apart. The bits seemed forced and unfunny. Cameos were mostly squandered. The R rating was used for shock value rather than comedy. A big failure.

Rating: D-

Felon (2008)

I need to just start seeing everything Val Kilmer has done and will do. The guy has transformed himself into one of the coolest actors of our time. Something nobody could see coming after such movies as Weird Science in his early years.

Anyway, Felon sounds like a remake of that classic Tom Selleck film An Innocent Man. Yes, Tom Selleck used to make classic films. Felon is much more than that. It's a realistic look at what might happen to an everyman sentenced to do hard time, with harder criminals--how he survives, what happens to his family on the outside, and a side plot about guards running their own gladiator fights.

Could be terrible in the wrong hands? It's not. Camera work is excellent. Pacing is right on. Acting by leads Val and Stephen Dorff are terrific. Realism is pumped up very high. It's an intense film without coming off as a Van Damme knockoff. Check out this overlooked gem.

Rating: B+

King Arthur (2004)

Saw this in the theater and enjoyed it. I think I would have actually liked it more had it been Rated R. Battle scenes are so much more epic when blood is spilled and limbs are flying. Perhaps I'm completely desensitized to that sort of thing, but I'm a sucker for realism. Despite the tame level of violence, the action was still kept at a good pace and used creatively. Fun popcorn movie.

Rating: C+

8 Mile (2002)

Yeah, I tuned into the Eminem Show along with $58 Million worth of others opening weekend. How could I turn my back on Curtis Hanson who directed L.A. Confidential and Wonder Boys? The movie was pretty good. Didn't try and be more than it was, or turn Eminem into some glorified pop star overnight like that steaming pile of Mariah Carey Glitter.

Rating: C+

Snatch (2000)

Guy Ritchie at the top of his game following his brilliant "Stock, Lock, and Two Smoking Barrels". Complex characters and story are effortlessly blended for our amusement. It's a very funny, very violent film.

A second viewing of Brad Pitt's gypsy slugger reveals my initial instincts were right: He should have been nominated for an academy award for this role. Too bad it's the kind of performance that NEVER gets recognized by Hollywood. He's quite brilliant.

Rating: A-

Darkon (2006)

A look into the strange world of real life fantasy role play and larping. A lot of people, me included, don’t realize how involved these people get into their fake universe. Most are disenfranchised outsiders who find an outlet for their dreams and a purpose for their mostly meaningless lives.

That may sound harsh, but we all do the same thing to some extent; whether it’s watching TV and movies, fishing, running, drinking, sports, or some other hobby. This just happens to be the activity outside of their daily routine that makes them happy. I can’t fault them for it. The film itself is a bit clumsy, but they do a decent job of interviewing a wide range of characters and piecing together a storyline that comes to a resolution at the end.

Rating: C

The Wrestler (2008)

Darren Aronofsky has made some of my absolute favorite films of all time, so I was anxiously waiting to see this. Well made? Yes. Dark? Yes. Authentic? Yes. Depressing? Yes. Entertaining? Somewhat. Rourke certainly delivers a killer performance. Marissa is as gorgeous as ever, especially with those tattoos. I'd be the Ashton Kutcher to her Demi Moore any day.

Rating: C+

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Decided to rent an older James Bond... Wow, they've come a long way. Not as exciting as they were watching them as a kid. Being chased by bad guys on skis. Check. Evil mastermind in an underwater fortress. Check. Sexy spy falls for the good guy. Check. Maybe this stuff was all it took to get by in the 70's, but I expect a little more out of my spy thrillers.

Rating: C-

Matilda (1996)

Based on a book from an author I really liked as a kid, Roald Dahl. Pretty dark stuff for a kids movie, but of course that made it more enjoyable to watch. Danny DeVito really had a good time acting and producing this movie. The cast is great, and despite some over-the-top kid type scenes, there was still enough subtle humor to make it enjoyable.

Rating: C+

Drive (2011)

I think this would have worked much better as a cable TV show. It would have been cool to develop these characters further (rather than killing them all off) and offering up an unsatisfying ending. Because that’s what this movie felt like--a great pilot to a new show that wrapped things up too soon. I wanted more getaway jobs, more chase scenes, more romantic development of the two leads, and more Ryan Gosling kicking ass.

Rating: C+

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Refreshing to see a movie with characters and story development once again. I was not put off by the length or pacing. The scenes are beautifully shot and the movie-magic used doesn't take away from the acting, which is terrific. David Fincher can do no wrong.

Rating: A-