Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

I hate to admit it, but Robin Williams' Jumanji was much better. The concept was a good one, but I'm sure kids with greater imagination than adults might be more impressed than I was.

Rating: D+

The Best of Youth (La Meglio Gioventù) (2003)

A very long, meandering Italian drama that takes place over a generation. Is it worth six hours of your life? No. Would it be worth three hours after some much needed editing? Yes.

Rating: C-

Woman on Top (2000)

The reviews for this weren't too hot, but I rented it anyway, since Penelope Cruz *is*, and there was a Brazilian flavor to the movie.

First, what a fantastic soundtrack. Enjoyed understanding the
Portuguese lines that they left without subtitles. Seeing the Brazillian food brought back many memories.

It tarted out kind of hoaky, a little "Like Water for Chocolate" with "Simply Irresistible". I was with it, but just along for the ride. Once she got to San Francisco however, things picked up. Quirky in a good way. The transvestite roommate of hers was a nice addition.

Rating: C+

God Bless America (2011)

I found myself saying “This is totally F’d up” a lot. The film/manifesto makes a lot of valid points about America today and its relationship with pop culture. But then again, it skeet shoots a baby with a shotgun, so it’s hard to take seriously. How does a movie like this get green lit when it alienates 90% of the audience by essentially calling them mindless a-holes? I kind of enjoyed it.

Rating: C

Highwaymen (2004)

A little bit Christie, a little bit Wrong Turn. Has some thrills, but nothing much below the surface.

Rating: C-

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

It’s hard to live up to the fantastic original, but this sequel is still pretty good. The entire crew is back to face a new evil foe, with inner peace as the secret weapon. The animation is gorgeous, and the fight scenes are a lot of fun.

Rating: C+

The Dark Knight (2008)

I saw this on opening day so I could avoid reviews and opinions before forming my own. By now everybody knows that this is a much darker film than Nolan's first. I don't see this as a positive or negative. It just is. More importantly, the sequel is focused, free from the burden of telling an origin story.

Subsequently, the villainous plot is allowed to unfold evenly, using the entire length of the film to unmask its gritty particulars. Ledger as the Joker is as good as he was rumored to be. An Oscar nomination would be less a tribute to his memory, as it would be a richly deserved accolade for a brilliant performance, regardless of his mortality.

Perhaps the monetary success, in addition to critical, will encourage Hollywood to hand the reins of major franchises over to more indie directors in the future.

Rating: B+

The Hunter (2011)

There is a dark and ominous tone throughout the film which keeps the audience at a distance. By the time we’ve been able to warm up to the characters, people are dead and things are wrapping up. It’s not material that will make for a fun movie night. More of a thought piece on science versus nature.

Rating: C-

21 Grams (2003)

Acting was very good, but the story was fairly depressing. I liked the non-sequential style used, regardless of how many times it's been  done before. It was a very well made movie, but it still left me feeling
unsatisfied.

Rating: C+

Jeff Who Lives At Home (2011)

Doesn’t exactly succeed at being insightful and charming. I liked the screenwriters previous effort, Cyrus, much better.

Rating: D+

Brüno (2009)

If you thought Borat was offensive, or even borderline offensive, your innocence will surely be stolen after watching Bruno. Don't make the mistake of going in thinking you'll be seeing another spoof poking fun at dumb Americans. There's a bit of that, but most of the film is simply an exercise in how much gay material can be squeezed into an R rated film. Answer: A butt load. Enough to make the scariest drag queen blush.

I don't mind being shocked, as long as it comes with a healthy dose of entertainment as well. This suffers from "Pink Flamingos" Syndrome--more shocking than entertaining.

Rating: D-

Wanderlust (2012)

Started out mediocre and got progressively worse. It’s sad to see such comedic talent go to waste.

Rating: D

Drumline (2002)

Can't believe how much I enjoyed this movie. Not only did it sound
FANTASTIC on my entertainment system, but it was flawlessly put together for the type of movie it was. Along the same concept of Bring It On, only a better plot, with developed characters, and much more talent. I'll never crack another joke about the marching band. I seriously had a great time watching this movie, and as much as I hate to give good reviews to teen genre movies, I'm forced to give this one a:

Rating: B

Restrepo (2010)

A raw look at an army deployment in the most dangerous area of Afghanistan. I found the tactical parts of the movie interesting, but a majority of the documentary was people sitting around talking.

Rating: C

Zodiac (2007)

Half of Hollywood shows up in this docu-thriller by David Fincher. I
wasn't familiar with the history behind these killings, so I didn't know what was coming. Well written screenplay based on the material
available. It's not a movie you'll run out to see again, but it's certainly worth seeing once.

Rating: C+

The Hustler (1961)

I realize this is considered a classic, but it would have been a much better film with a few rewrites and more thorough editing. The woman lead was terrible. Like a bad SNL reenactment of how actresses used to over-perform. Make her role a bit part with a much hotter actress. Trim Eddie’s downfall down to 5 or 10 minutes. Give all the extra time to his comeback. Make it a happy ending without all the lectures. Boom. Your welcome.

Rating: D+

All About My Mother (Todo Sobre Mi Madre) (1999)

The movie opened slowly, which had me concerned, but the
outstanding performances and rich screenplay won me over. Really enjoyed it.

Rating: B-

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)

Heavy and uncomfortable. Somewhat slow. Depressing. Muddled. Terrible ending.

Rating: D

Get Carter (1971)

Quite a bit darker and more serious than the Stallone remake. It was
shot well, but not the classic I'd hoped it would be.

Rating: D+

Man On A Ledge (2012)

This thing had more loose ends than the attendees of a prune festival. Like a bad episode of an average police drama. Surprised they were able to score so many competent actors for this project. Guess that’s what happens in a down economy. You got to take work where you can get it. Lame.

Rating: D-

Monsoon Wedding (2001)

I've always been fascinated by other cultures and places. This movie is a wonderful look into a completely different world than we are used to. I loved it. So many characters interweaving in an elaborate set of colors and designs.

Rating: B

Melancholia (2011)

I swore I would never see another Lars Von Trier film again after the nightmare that was Antichrist. But I kept reading things that said this one was worth seeing, so I acquiesced. Things move very slowly, sometimes in slow motion. It’s dreary. The wedding scene is as boring as the one in Rachel Getting Married. Halfway through you’ll be ready for the planets to collide so the film with end. I used the FF button to get there faster.

Rating: F

Raising Victor Vargas (2002)

A Sundance gem. The script is great, and the performances by complete newcomers are even better.

Rating: B

The Ides of March (2011)

Stellar cast of actors all doing their thing. A mostly by the books plot—like an uptight version of Primary Colors.

Rating: C+

The Score (2001)

Marlon Brando really needs to go on a diet. He looks like a bloated whale about to purposely beach itself. His role in this movie was small, and I think he was only added to the cast for shock value and name recognition. Edward Norton is fantastic as always. He plays a smaller version of his "Primal Fear" role. DeNiro is still at the top of his game, just older.

For a big heist movie, it was well done. Not up to "Heat" par, but good. Enjoyed the twist ending, and had a good time throughout the film.

Rating: C+

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

Just as ridiculous as the first three, but even more poorly acted, if you can believe it. At least they remained consistent.

Rating: D

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)

Instead of pulling a cute bunny out of his hat, Mr. Magorium opened his hand to reveal a giant turd. Great casting could not save this poorly written master-piece of shit.

Do I really care if Natalie Portman will ever be able to live up to her potential on the piano? No! Do I really care if this Willie Wonka meets K-PAX freak show is an alien or just an eccentric pedophile? Not really. Was I rooting for the 37 year old man trapped inside a little boy's body, Magorium's sidekick, to succumb to a tragic toy related accident? Oh yes!

What really blows my mind is I loved the directors previous film: Stranger Than Fiction. Stay far away from this one.

Rating: F

Goon (2011)

Small town brawler takes his fists to the hockey rink. There are a few laughs, and it’s watchable, but nothing to wet your pants about.

Rating: C

Serving Sara (2002)

Another implausible comedy with only a few laughs here and there and
not much outside of Elizabeth Hurley's amazing body to look at on
screen. Didn't even bother checking out the deleted scenes or
outtakes on the DVD.

Rating: D

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

Equally as bad as the first two and completely unnecessary, as most of this story was told through flashbacks already. CGI is deplorable. Fight scenes are a choppy mess. Thankfully I only have one more to go in this series.

Rating: D

Double Take (2001)

I was hoping for a funny, low emotional investment kind of movie, but wound up with a stinker. Similar movies have done much better with this plot: "Midnight Run" is a good example. There were a few laughs here and there, but overall, it was crap.

Rating: D-

Born To Be Wild (2011)

A picturesque nature film about orphaned orangutans and elephants. An educational and entertaining way to kill 40 minutes.

Rating: C

Angel-A (2005)

I rented this movie solely on the shoulders of writer/director Luc Besson and a very cool DVD cover. It's worked for me in the past, and it worked out this time. In the hands of another director, this material could very easily have bombed. But in Luc's capable hands, a simple story was uniquely told through stunning visuals and witty French banter. A catchy soundtrack didn't hurt either.

Casting was perfect. The height distinctions between the two main
characters is borderline brilliant. Had the sexy, leggy, blonde angel
not been a full foot taller than her French counterpart, it would have
been a completely different film, and much less rewarding. You'll
agree with me after you see it.

Rating: B+

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Very much like the first, which is a shame. Was hoping to see some improvements. Backstory does not equal plot.

Rating: D

The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

A good, not great, sequel by Greengrass. I definitely prefer Doug Liman, the director of the original. Some fantastic action sequences, but the story got away from him. The flow was off and the occasional jerky action sequences couldn't save it.

Rating: C+

The Bourne Identity (2002)

Bourne Identity moves fast, keeping the action right in your face. Exactly what you want in an action movie. Acting and plot were solid too. The fight scenes were not only violent by PG-13 standards, but original.Doug Liman did a great job setting up this spy series.

Another plus for me was the return of "Lola" from Run Lola Run, the
German indie film sensation, to the screen. I was pleasantly surprised at how good her English was too. Fantastic? no. A really good action movie? Yes.

Rating: B

The Raid: Redemption (Serbuan Maut) (2011)

There are nights when all you want is to see is a crazy violent action movie. Guys know what I’m talking about. The Raid was made for such evenings. An Indonesian SWAT unit gets trapped in a 15 story building full of bad guys. Mayhem ensues. The fight scenes are varied as they are bloody. Bodies drop at a frenetic pace. Your blood lust will be sated.

Rating: C+

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010)

I'm not a big cartoon guy, but when Zack Snyder makes one, color me intrigued. The film is gorgeous. Let's face it, Zack's other movies are mostly animated, so it's not surprising that he pulls off a celluloid marvel with this one. The source material follows your typical storyline, only this time it's owls instead of numbered rag dolls, dragons, or Rats of Nimh.

Still, I enjoyed the characters and the execution. The pace is quick and the action just brutal enough to satisfy hardened adults. Probably violent enough to
spook a few kiddies. I'd love to see a PG-13 version of this hooted tale. Let the avian blood flow!

Rating: B-

Underworld (2003)

Cartoonish and clichéd. Nothing new or interesting. The best thing going for it is Kate Beckinsale’s skin tight leather outfit.

Rating: D

Elizabethtown (2005)

Certainly not your run of the mill romantic comedy, but then what did you expect from Cameron Crowe? I enjoyed this film and it's uniquely functioning disfunctuality. Crowe made my favorite romantic comedy of all time with "Say Anything" -- here he delivers another fun film in a completely new way.

Rating: B-

Chronicle (2012)

Where to start. I have nothing against the recent outpouring of shows and movies involving “normal” people receiving superhuman powers. Some are really good (Misfits, The 4400). However, it feels like most of the good stories and scripts have already been green lit, and now we’re down to the dregs. Hello Chronicle. Three apparent tools receive amazing abilities and commence telekinetic horseplay.

The decision to have the film shot by the actors doesn’t really bring anything extra special to the production, except for maybe a higher level of obnoxiousness. They should be focusing on their acting, since it’s atrocious. Plot holes abound. The film is completely pointless for the first half and mimicked Iron Man in the second half, only without the suits. Stupid ending.

Rating: D-

Red Dragon (2002)

Keep in mind I read all three books and loved them. I thought they did an excellent job of translating the 3 books to the screen. Red Dragon, as opposed to Manhunter, was much more true to the original story, and very well made.

The cast of actors they pulled together for this film was a true feat of genius. They couldn't have done a better job. Anthony Hopkins hasn't lost his edge a bit. The charaters truley came to life, and put on one hell of a show.

Very disturbing film with some grisly images and a great climatic ending. I was grasping my pillow for dear life. (and I already knew the ending more or less)

Rating: B