Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

One of my favorite books as a kid, so I was really hoping they would nail it on screen. Something I didn't feel the original pulled off. For the most part, this was a good edition. I loved the beginning of the film, the way everything was set up and the choice of characters.

I was skeptical of Depp's portrayal of Willy Wonka. He was a bit odd, but not odd enough to really annoy me. I thought the second half of the movie turned slightly sour. Visually stunning. Worth seeing. But there is room for improvement.

Rating: C+

Super Troopers (2001)

This movie is absolutely ridiculous. I laughed like crazy during some parts, while other scenes fell flat. If you thought the "Police Academy" movies were lame, like me, then try Super Troopers. It takes what they were trying to do, gets it totally loaded, then puts it behind the wheel.

Rating: C+

The Reader (2008)

A frisky German indie for the literate crowd. Kate looks terrible in this, but she's fantastic as always. The movie was alright.

Rating: C

Brooklyn Castle (2012)

A terrific documentary about the chess program at Brooklyn’s 318 middle school and the lives of certain team members. Inspiring and educational. As a proponent of extracurricular programs in school, I really liked the message this movie presented. It’s a shame so many American schools put their focus on 1-2 subjects at the expense of creating well-rounded students.

Rating: B

The Item (1999)

Very low budget, shot on digital, with a screwy storyline. Parts were good, but it's nothing you should go out of your way to watch.

Rating: D

Rabbit-Proof Fence (Hadashi No 1500 Mile) (2002)

Filmed in Australia, it's the true story of a young Aboriginal girl, her sister, and little cousin, who are stolen away from their home and sent to a girls camp to learn the ways of Western culture. They escape and travel over a thousand miles through the bush on foot back to their mother. They used three non-actors to play the parts and they are amazing. Very inspiring movie.

The documentary (45 min long) on the DVD is a must-see too.

Rating: B+

The Hangover Part III (2013)

If you've seen the first two, it goes without saying you’ll check out the third. I liked this one better than the second, but it’s no first.

Rating: C

The Stepford Wives (2004)

It started out ok, but went progressively downhill. By the end, the plot was so flimsy it completely fell apart. I had no personal investment in any of the characters. Besides a few moments, it wasn't very funny either.

Rating: D-

Snakes On A Plane (2006)

There's just enough plot-line to substantiate the presence of poisonous snakes on a plane. From there it's pretty much non-stop venom action, as passengers and crew alike proceed to be attacked by deadly vipers.

If this is what you expect going in, you'll be mildly entertained. If you are hoping for something more, it's best you intoxicate yourself first. Overused clichés come at you faster than angry snakes. I found myself groaning at the sight of carbon-copied scenes stolen from old movies. Scenes that were bad the first time they were used.

Great marketing, poor product.

Rating: D

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

One thing the Twilight series has done right is hiring quality indie directors to helm their films. Having seen David Slade's movie Hard Candy, I was expecting something a little more edgy. I didn't see it. Everyone's been saying this was the best of the series. I beg to differ. I feel the first one was the best, followed by the second, and you guessed it—the latest is my least favorite.

The first half of the film is bogged down in "heavy" teenage drama played out through boring monologues. There's a lot of unromantic kissing. I simply don't feel the heat between Bella and Edward. It feels forced and creepy. Maybe it's all the white clown makeup the vampires wear.

What it really comes down to is this: Any single episode of True Blood is generally more entertaining than these films.

Rating: C-

West Of Memphis (2012)

A documentary about the West Memphis Three. A summary of all that has happened in the past, much of which was covered in the two Paradise Lost documentaries, and up to the most recent resolution. In addition to shining a spotlight on a horrific murder in a small town, it also shows how politics, pride, and pressure can make a mockery of justice. A very well made film. It probably didn’t hurt to have Fran and Peter Jackson as advisers for the project.

Rating: B-

Out Of Time (2003)

Not bad. Plot was a little far fetched at times, but it kept a steady pace. Denzel has done much better work.

Rating: C

The Lookout (2007)

A mostly overlooked film that deserves to be seen. Characters are given time to develop, and the story is engaging. A nice effort overall.

Rating: B-

Buck (2011)

A documentary about the man The Horse Whisperer was based upon. Buck is an extraordinary man with an interesting life story. I appreciate his dedication to improve the process of preparing horses to be ridden.

Rating: C+

Four Brothers (2005)

Caught this one in the theater opening weekend. I liked the acting and direction, but I felt the story was a bit weak. Seemed like a lot of effort to fabricate a reason to kill some old lady so that a revenge plot could kick in. Still, it was a good dose of entertaining violence.

Rating: C+

My First Mister (2001)

This brand of indie is right up my alley. Leelee is a unique and gifted actress. Albert Brooks is one of the greats. Together, with a refreshing story, echoing "Ghost World", they pulled me into their characters.

Rating: B+

Flame And Citron (Flammen & Citronen) (2008)

I can never resist a Nazi killing action movie. This one was a bit slow moving with just wisps of a plot that never really came together until the end. It's based on a true story, one that I wish the screenwriter had taken more liberties with. Not a bad film, just not great.

Rating: C

Sightseers (2012)

A borderline retarded woman and her mentally unstable serial killer boyfriend take a road trip in his caravan. It’s the dimwitted British cousin to Natural Born Killers.

Rating: C-

Night Of The Creeps (1986)

It's scary how bad 80's movies were back in the day. However, they can often be entertaining in a nostalgic sort of way. The dialogue in Creeps is mostly terrible, but there are moments. I've seen dozen films that have directly stolen ideas from this movie. It's basically an 80's romance blended with a zombie flick. The results are mixed.

Rating: C

Ghost Ship (2002)

That opening scene was just disturbing. Unfortunately shock value was all this movie had going for it. Plot and acting were crap.

Rating: F+

The Terminal (2004)

Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg are a solid combination. You may have to suspend belief with some of the plot points, but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying the film.

Rating: C+

Public Enemies (2009)

Heat: The Prequel. It's a typical Michael Mann drama, with a touch of overacting. My favorite characters were the Texas lawmen.

Rating: C

The Holiday (2006)

Jack Black in a romantic comedy? He toned down his goofiness to the point where he was just likeably goofy and a bit eccentric. It was fun to see his sense of humor and personality win over Kate Winslet's heart, despite his lack of dashing good looks. If you haven't seen a good romantic comedy in awhile, your search is over. Enjoy.

Rating: B-

Bulletproof Monk (2003)

The plot, and most aspects of this film, were nothing special. The fight scenes looked very staged. However, I did enjoy some of the chemistry between Seann William Scott and Chow Yun-Fat.

Rating: C-

A Hijacking (Kapringen) (2012)

A Danish film that takes us through the experience of a cargo ship hijacking from both sides of the negotiation. Very smartly produced and scripted. Gripping due to its realism.

Rating: B

How To Train Your Dragon (2010)

This was my first foray into the new world of 3D. Went to see a movie with the nephews. The little one lost interest, but the older one was mostly entertained. It held my interest too, but nothing special. It's no Kung Fu Panda or Toy Story. The 3D is a nice gimmick, but that's all it is. I would have been just as entertained in 2D. Not worth forking over the extra green unless it's Avatar.

Rating: C

Evan Almighty (2007)

Despite some forays into preposterous waters, Evan is mostly smooth sailing. The story is much more focused than the Jim Carrey original, and with the use of real animals and an actual ark on set, the film doesn't come off looking like a low budget mini series starring Jon Voight. Is this a movie miracle? No, but it does entertain; and maybe that's enough.

Rating: C+

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Russell Crowe during the peak of his career. Jennifer Connelly holds her own beside him. Entertaining movie based loosely on a real life story.

Rating: B

Strangers With Candy (2005)

I was sorely disappointed with this big screen adaptation of the small screen series. In addition to not being as smart, funny, dark, and poignant, the movie lost some of the best key players, who were mysteriously replaced with sub par actors. Any single episode of the show Strangers With Candy could put this film to shame. And shame is exactly what they should be feeling for letting the fans down with this cheap imitation.

Rating: D-

Anvil: The Story of Anvil (2008)

I have nothing in common with these dudes, yet that didn't stop me from enjoying their story. Reminded me a lot of American Movie—two crazy artists with a dream, but not a lot of street smarts between them. An engaging documentary that leaves you wanting to know more.

Rating: C+

The Hunt (Jagten) (2012)

A serious issue brought to life in a smart and appropriate manner. Tough to watch because of how uncomfortable it makes you feel. A good reminder to never jump to conclusions or hop on any bandwagons.

Rating: B-

Cronos (1993)

An early Guilermo Del Toro film about a device that creates and sustains vampires. It’s an average movie, but you can see glimpses of what’s to come in his career. Pretty good for the budget he was likely working with.

Rating: C

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

An enjoyable romp into the world of fashion, more so than the contrived series Ugly Betty, which borders on the absurd, rather than funny. Streep is good, but not Oscar good. There were plenty of other performances that should have been nominated in her place. Even so, I liked the film, if only because it poked fun at the absurdity of the fashion industry, while simultaneously attempting to justify it.

Rating: C+

Welcome To The Punch (2013)

Not terrible, just sloppy storytelling. No depth to the characters. Full of action movie clichés.

Rating: D+

District 13: Ultimatum (Banlieue 13: Ultimatum) (2009)

Just as fast and fun as the first one, with new bad guys and better sets. Our two high flying heroes are back with new stunts and crazier getaways. I still give the edge to the first film, because it was so original when it came out, but this sequel easily holds its own.

Rating: B-

Real Women Have Curves (2002)

I enjoy films that spotlight cultures different than mine. A sweet story of a fat Latina girl coming to terms with her mother and body. Worth seeing.

Rating: C

They Came Back (Les Revenants) (2004)

Zombie fans beware! This French POS de résistance is mind numbingly slow, like the undead in the film. Regular folk inexplicably return from the dead, sporting the Sears summer line, like nothing ever happened. How do the living react? They hold a community meeting of course, discussing how to reintegrate them into society. No biggie. It’s not like thousands of people just returned from the dead without any explanation. Oh wait, that’s exactly what happened!

No brains are eaten. No headshots are made. Nothing is edited out. The camera rolls endlessly on NOTHING! I nearly joined the ranks of the undead trying to stay awake before the credits rolled.

I thought maybe there would be a big payoff at the end; possibly giving some clues as to where they came from and why they came back. Nope! They simply disappear into the sewer system, while others are gassed following some random explosions around the city? What!?! Total horseshit.

I only saw this because I caught wind of a zombie French TV series based on the movie. Now I have series reservations about the show.

Rating: F

[Update: The series is AWESOME! Skip the movie and watch the show.]

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

You know the water's wet before you get in, and you know this movie's crude and funny before you see it. I laughed consistently throughout the entire thing. I even laughed at a few parts I'd already seen in the trailers a dozen times. Rob Corddry is allowed to go completely off the deep end. Worse than Will Farrell in Old School. Crispin Glover has the cameo of a lifetime. It's hard to go wrong when you have the 80's as a backdrop.

Rating: B-

Knocked Up (2007)

Refreshingly inappropriate and hysterically funny. Humor on every level, but most of it resides below the waistline.

Rating: B

American Mary (2012)

Everything felt a bit off, in a bad way. Characters, motivations, actions, dialogue, and story. I chalked it up to sloppy direction. The production felt cheap. The audio is terrible. Not so much scary as demented and of no redeeming value.

Rating: F

Osmosis Jones (2001)

Inventive and fun film, even if it spent way too much time inside the body, rather than outside, where Bill Murray and a funny supporting cast could have livened things up.

Rating: C

March of the Penguins (La Marche de L'empereur) (2005)

I try to see one or two G rated movies a year. This French documentary was quite enjoyable and I came out knowing more about penguins than the average person. Those birds have a tough life.

Rating: C+

You’ve Been Trumped (2011)

A documentary about Trump developing a golf course in a pristine Scotland dune system, and by developing, I mean bulldozing the land, people, and community to get it done. It’s a known fact that Trump is the world’s biggest douchebag. This film simply expounds on one aspect of his multifaceted douchebaggery.

Rating: C

Twilight (2008)

I was glad I was able to see this film not having read the book, heard about plot points, or watched any of the previews. I enjoyed it for what it was, not for how faithful the book adaptation was or wasn't.

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. Acting was solid, story pacing was nice, the cinematography was gorgeous, and the action wasn't bad. I was expecting things to be much more watered down.

What interested me the most was the excellent direction. The name Catherine Hardwicke didn't ring any bells. Sometimes these kinds of films are given to unproven first time directors who've previously been making music videos or commercials. Had I known she directed the controversial film "Thirteen" I saw at Sundance back in 2003, I wouldn't have been worried at all.

Rating: C+

The Thief (1997)

A Russian film about a mom and her son who hook up with a deadbeat thief, who becomes a pseudo dad to the kid. Mostly sad and depressing. Aren’t most Russian dramas? Incredible performance by the kid though.

Rating: C-

Earthlings (2006)

I put off watching this for a long time, knowing that it was going to be worse than any horror movie I’ve ever seen. Worse because the gory scenes are real, not staged. There is footage shown that depicts some of the most cruel, inhumane, and gut-wrenching scenes you will ever see. (Also known as standard operating procedure at businesses around the world, particularly the US.)

I lived most of my life purposely unaware. I knew in the back of my mind that this kind of stuff went on, but I made sure not to dig too deep. Doing so would mean having to drastically change my way of life. I’d say 99% of the population falls into this category. They aren’t mean and cruel people—they simply prefer to stay uninformed, because it’s easier. I did too.

However, once you watch a dozen or more tamer documentaries, you suddenly realize you know too much and can no longer claim ignorance. That’s when you obtain a copy of this documentary and make yourself ill by seeing what you had somehow hoped was simply an urban legend. It’s not. Our species is unnecessarily perverse in our treatment of others. This doesn’t come as a shock, but watching this documentary will show you how much larger the scope of this cruelty is compared to what you thought possible.

It’s doubtful anyone reading this review will watch the movie, and frankly, I don’t blame you. Who wants to sit through a 90 minute downer? Nightmare fodder for years to come. Apparently me. Bring a vomit bag.

Rating: C

R.I.P.D. (2013)

A cross between Men In Black, Defending Your Life, and Ghostbusters, with a hint of Ghost—all far superior films. Also a cross between TV shows Reaper and Dead Like Me—any given episode of which was more entertaining than R.I.P.D. Their depiction of the afterlife and their interaction with the live world were positively stupid. It wasn't all bad news. A few scenes made me chuckle. That’s the extent of the good news.

Rating: D-

The 25th Hour (2002)

I knew nothing about the plot going in, and enjoyed letting the story unfold before me. It's a bit dark, dramatic, and moody, but has a solid story. Well acted.

Rating: C+

Children Of Invention (2009)

And the Mother of the Year Award goes too… not this lady. Depressing film about a stupid single mother pouring money down the drain while inadvertently stealing from other poor, stupid suckers like herself. Good times.

Rating: D-

I Like Killing Flies (2004)

I Like Killing Flies is a sloppy documentary about a sloppy hole-in-the-wall restaurant in NYC. The helter skelter nature of the film is balanced by the interesting characters in front of the lens. The place is an institution in the neighborhood with a ton of personality. The movie documents the end of a 30+ year era, as they move into a new location. Prepare yourself for a ton of foul language—this family would make a sailor blush. This is not a place I’d want to eat or people I’d want to hang out with, but I found their story interesting to watch.

Rating: C