Riddick (2013)

A case where a franchise continues to decline with each additional film. While there were some entertaining sequences, none of them combined merited the making of this third installment. Enjoy the first, then stop.

Rating: C-

Monkey Kingdom (2015)

Disney edits the shit out of some monkey footage to create a preposterous story of Maya, a monkey with big dreams trying to overcome the odds to elevate her rank in her monkey troop. After a one night stand, she gets herself knocked up. Later she teaches the other monkeys how to steal. This is supposed to be for kids? Tina Fey narrates fabricated emotions and thoughts for the monkeys. It’s all very ridiculous.

Rating: D-

Undisputed 3: Redemption (2010)

These films would be much better if the fight sequences were even somewhat realistic. In a world where MMA exists and we know what real fighting looks like and what happens to fighters when they get hit, it’s hard to overlook choreography that comes from an 80s playbook.

Rating: C-

The Interview (2014)

I’ve got to hand it to them. They went balls out. Crazy offensive on so many levels, but seriously funny. Worth declaring war over? Probably not. It’s doubtful any North Koreans will ever get their hands on a copy… but if they did, boy would I love to hear their thoughts.

Rating: B

London Has Fallen (2016)

As preposterous as the previous “Has Fallen” movies. Rather than hide out in some random London resident’s flat where it would be impossible to be found, they wander around out in the open miraculously avoiding getting shot.

And seriously, the entire London security force and police department has been infiltrated by hundreds of terrorists? So many plot holes I lost count. This movie will make you hate America.

Rating: F

Entourage (2015)

Like a really long, average episode of Entourage.

Rating: C

Garage Days (2002)

An Australian movie about a struggling rock band and the misadventures of each member. Visually awesome and creative.

Rating: C+

The Guest (2014)

Slick anti-hero script with a hefty dose of teen angst to boot. Some enjoyable 80’s throwbacks, even if they contributed to a slightly cheesy ending. Enjoyed.

Rating: B-

2012 (2009)

A by the numbers disaster movie, but with superior special effects. Quite watchable for the first 3/4ths of the film. Some ok humor to lighten things up. Things fall apart toward the end with some extremely forced emotional scenes. Had it not been for the groundbreaking (pun intended) end of the world depictions, I would have scored this movie lower.

Rating: C

Cop Car (2015)

I think they could have done a better job selecting the two kid actors. I didn’t find them very believable, but I did find them obnoxious. The editing is very self-indulgent. Time moves like molasses for about the first hour. But once Whiggam is out of the trunk, his character livens things up. The threatening speech he made to the boys was classic. Sadly, that turned out to be the only good moment in the movie.

Rating: D-

Bad News Bears (2005)

I have a faint memory of the original being a cute, family comedy. I have a distinct memory of this one being a mostly unfunny, crass, adult comedy without any real target audience to speak of. You don't care about any of the characters. You don't care if they win or lose. And you don't care whether his tomboy daughter hooks up with the rebel kid who flunked 3 grades.

Rating: F+

Predestination (2014)

Another confusing time travel movie with a plot that leaves you wondering if there was any point to the whole thing. Perhaps my brain isn’t capable of understanding how a transgendered man has sex with his earlier female self, both of whom turn out to be the baby they made, which was taken back in time and delivered at an orphanage. And this somehow is the secret sauce for creating the perfect time traveling agent? No thanks.

Rating: D+

A Mighty Wind (2003)

Watching a Christopher Guest movie is like hanging out with old friends. It's fun to see the same actors take on different roles in each movie, similar to a Paul Thomas Anderson film. While Waiting For Guffman and Best In Show were funnier films (in my opinion), Mighty Wind was still entertaining. Showcased the amazing singing ability of the entire cast.

Rating: C+

Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

Epic failure. The movie was so desperate to be funny, but of course wasn’t. While the first was based on a book with fleshed out characters and a solid storyline, the sequel hoped that propping up those same characters would make magic strike twice. It didn’t. The only thing that made the movie somewhat bearable was Keegan-Michael Key.

Rating: D-

Get Smart (2008)

Not as bad as I thought it would be. My expectations were low since I was watching on a 15 ½ hour flight to Hong Kong. Less goofy than the original show, which I was glad for. Much of the humor comes courtesy of a great supporting cast. Unravels towards the end when all reality is thrown out the window.

Rating: C

The Equalizer (2014)

I watched this television show as a kid. This is a fun update that delivers everything its audience wants. Much better than it had any business being. Good guys win. Bad guys lose. People die in a kaleidoscope of blood. I’d enjoy watching a serialized version on HBO or Showtime.

Rating: B-

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)

Like an Asian version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Really funny at times, ok at others. Plenty of cameos to keep you guessing.

Rating: C

The Escort (2015)

A little indie with a likeable cast and some witty dialogue, even if the romance follows a familiar formula.

Rating: C+

A Band Called Death (2012)

A cool rock history story that introduced me to an album I would otherwise never have known about. The documentary itself was a bit longwinded and overly introspective.

Rating: C-

Dumb And Dumber To (2014)

Monumentally bad. A few uncomfortable chuckles that I felt guilty letting out. What’s the point of reuniting these guys to do a sequel to a beloved guilty pleasure film if you are only going to cart out stale, recycled jokes?

Rating: F+

The Guardian (2006)

Your basic teacher/apprentice disaster movie that follows the formula to a T. They could have saved themselves some money and just used the same special f/x from A Perfect Storm. It's an ok movie and will hold your attention, but let's be honest: this isn't anything special.

Rating: C

Slow West (2015)

A picturesque New Zealand takes the place of America in this throwback western. Gorgeous cinematography throughout. Lovely counter play between character development and action sequences. The pacing was just right. Simple story; well told.

Rating: B

Scotland, PA. (2001)

A take on MacBeth that borders on the edge of sanity. Takes place in the 70's with an unusual cast. Christopher Walken is great as always. There were many funny parts to this movie, but storywise it kind of lost me. And with most Shakespeare movies, everyone dies. If you like updated versions of his stuff, you'll probably enjoy this movie.

Rating: C

Nightcrawler (2014)

Jake Gyllnhall appears to be playing a socially retarded thief turned freelance videographer. He has a complete lack of emotion, a photographic memory, and an aptitude to learn quickly. That’s not all. He’s a nasty perfectionist with lofty expectations of himself and those he works with. The film is dark. Dark as night. Jake’s character is not likeable in the least. That’s a bitter pill for the viewer to swallow.

Rating: C

No Reservations (2007)

Exactly what I expected. A cute, well-made film with a predictable, yet entertaining plot. If you are looking for a `sure thing' date movie, this is a great choice. Also, as a food lover, all the scenes of delicious food didn't hurt either.

Rating: C+

Joe (2013)

Gritty backwoods drama about a man and a boy trying to work out their demons.

Rating: C

She’s Out Of My League (2010)

So this plot has been done a thousand times, but it's always entertaining when done right. There are plenty of genuinely funny lines and scenes. Supporting characters do a good job. The movie is worth seeing for one scene alone—you'll know when you see it.

Rating: C+

Hush (2016)

A take on the home invasion thriller. The victim in this story is a deaf mute, which the editors use to their advantage to amp up the tension.

Rating: C+

Changing Lanes (2002)

Ben usually gets on my nerves, but he does a decent job here.  Samuel is good as usual. Not a bad movie.

Rating: C

The Jokesters (2015)

Hated the characters. Story was dumb. Not funny. Not scary. Waste of time.

Rating: F

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)

Mostly watchable until the unfulfilling end. I'm not exactly sure who the audience for this film is, and I don't think the producers knew either. I was never scared, thrilled, humored, or compelled. It was mildly amusing and that's all. Pretty weak acting by the two teenage leads as well.

Rating: C-

Fury (2014)

Another war movie featuring Brad Pitt killing Nazis, only with a tank. Pretty intense with a lot of high caliber violence. Huge body count.

Rating: C+

Hide And Seek (2005)

Made me scream out several times. Even though the plot was tired, the acting was good. Sufficiently creepy to hold your attention.

Rating: C

Tiny: A Story About Living Small (2013)

Documentary film about the micro home wave crashing across America. It’s a topic I’m particularly interested in, so I enjoyed.

Rating: C

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

I still can't believe Peter Jackson was able to pull off triple perfection. Each film was both unique and equally wonderful. Incredible work and very entertaining.

Rating: A-

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

Takes place in the Cloverfield universe that JJ Abrams has created, but definitely a standalone film as well. Plenty of suspense and thrills to keep me on the hook. Enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

Rating: B-

Eagle Eye (2008)

Classic case of poor character development, resulting in the audience not being emotionally invested when they are thrown into all sorts of peril. Reality was pretty much ignored in favor of continuous action. Action that defied all plausibility.

Rating: D+

Dead Rising: Watchtower (2015)

This is either a special edition of Jehovah Witnesses magazine or a B level zombie movie. (it’s the second one) The barely there plot is only made bearable by Rob Riggle’s corny on-air hijinks.

Rating: D

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

This is a really dumb movie. I'm not talking Dodgeball dumb or Dumb and Dumber dumb--it's much dumber. This isn't meant as an insult, since I actually enjoy dumb humor and dumb movies. It's uneven, but has enough funny moments to make it enjoyable.
More cameos than one can shake a stick at.

Rating: C

A Most Wanted Man (2014)

A well-crafted, but ultimately very frustrating espionage thriller.

Rating: C

Happiness (1998)

The title is meant to be ironic, since the people in this film are anything but happy. It's a film about real people; real dysfunctinal people. The performances are outstanding, oftentimes touching. I was reminded of Neil LaBute directing 'In the Company of Men' and 'Your Friends and Neighbors'.
This is a daring film and goes places most films will never go. Keep in mind it's not rated and isn't a film for everyone. Nothing is really shown, just understood. The humor is dark, as is much of the content. You won't leave the film feeling depressed, but you may not feel excited either. This is a film to ponder over as you go about your business over the next few days.

Rating: B

Turbo (2013)

Mildly entertaining cartoon about a supercharged snail racing in the Indy 500, so yeah, it was based on a true story.

Rating: D+

Men In Black II (2002)

MIB II was fun, funny, and flashy. A reliable sequel.

Rating: C+

Teeth (2007)

A dark comedy that's more dark than comedy. I don't think any guy wants to see a severed penis or the bloody stump. It's one of our worst fears. So buckle up Lorraine Bobbitt fans, you're in for a real treat.

Rating: D+