The Bodyguard (2004)

No, not the version with crack addict Whitney Houston. This Bodyguard is over-the-top Thai actioner with Petchtai Wongkamlao. He wouldn't be most writers and directors first pick for the lead role, but when you are casting a film you wrote and directed yourself, it's easier to get away with it.

The humor is very Thai, which means you will only get about 50% of the jokes, and half of them are awkwardly at the expense of gay men. I recognized a couple actors from Ong-Bak, a far superior film, but this was still fun.

Rating: C

Eighth Grade (2018)

Ugh. Teens are the worst. Especially these new teens with their Snapchat filters and YouTube channels. All their most annoying attributes are amplified 100% more than ours were. This movie would have been easier to watch if nearly everyone in it wasn’t so annoying. Also, most of the film is completely awkward, which I realize was the point, but that doesn’t make it any more enjoyable to watch.

Rating: D

Hostiles (2017)

Some top notch performances that were overlooked by the award shows. A gritty Western that holds very few punches. Mainly a tale of redemption and forgiveness.

Rating: B

Sorry To Bother You (2018)

You’re going to be bothered. This is an F-ed up movie. I won’t spoil it for you.

Rating: C

Avengement (2019)

Dumb movie title. This is my second Scott Adkins film in the same night, so I have something fresh in my mind to compare it to. Avengement was actually a couple steps up from Accident Man, which is an even worse title. I look forward to his next film.

Rating: C

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

Fun, but not magical. I may be too grounded to get carried away in this kind of fantasy.

Rating: C

Better Watch Out (2016)

The payoff at the end wasn’t satisfying enough for having to sit through a young serial killers' wet dream. Hard pass.

Rating: D-

Bird Box (2018)

A spin off of M. Night’s The Happening, with more coherency. I thought they did a pretty decent job of fleshing out the premise and keeping things suspenseful.

Rating: B-

Hidalgo (2004)

A "based on a true story" action movie. Pretty good.

Rating: C

Adrift (2018)

A tale of ocean survival based on a true story. Also a sad love story.

Rating: C

Glass (2019)

This trilogy was unique in that it was the second film, Split, that was superior. Glass tried to fuse two disjointed films together into a coherent narrative. It succeeded in a few places, but most of it felt unnatural. Forced. Was hoping for more. 

Rating: C-

Bad Times At The El Royale (2018)

More like Average Times At The El Royale.

Rating: C

Band Aid (2017)

Cute and funny in parts. Some songs hit, others miss. Fred Armisen as the drummer/weird neighbor was fun.

Rating: C

Willow (1988)

Funnier than I remember it being as a kid. Special effects are crap, but that adds to the fun. The next generation enjoyed as well.

Rating: C

Christopher Robin (2018)

Mildly entertaining. I’m pretty sure everyone would be much more freaked out if stuffed animals started talking. This could have easily been turned into a horror film.

Rating: C-

Team America: World Police (2004)

This is one fucked up puppet show. Some parts were entertaining, but I'd rather watch an episode of South Park.

Rating: C-

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

Sad to see so many good actors in such a bad movie. Not since Dragonheart have I seen this kind of wasted talent in a dragon movie.

Rating: F

Hereditary (2018)

Dark, depressing, and disturbing. Not my type of horror film. 

Rating: D

Anthropoid (2016)

Bleak and depressing. Not a fun way to spend a Friday night. 

Rating: C-

Daybreakers (2009)

Fantastic premise. If Vampires are superhuman, of course they will overrun the Earth, exterminating every human along the way. But what happens when they suck their food source into near extinction? That's where this movie picks up. Things were rolling for the first half. It wasn't spectacular, but it was going places. The second half, things took a turn for the lame and gory. Felt more like a bad zombie movie at times. A weak ending didn't help.

Rating: C-

Assassination Nation (2018)

I didn’t buy the premise at all. When we have a president who shamelessly screws porn stars and tweets out filth directly at people he doesn’t like, how are we supposed to believe that people would be so bothered by the airing of dirty laundry that they’d care enough to get up off the couch and do something, let alone go on a murdering spree?

This played out more like The Purge--where the premise is stupid, but the nihilistic thrill of watching everyday people try to kill one another is what keeps you watching. Unfortunately they didn’t even do that very well. The last 10 minutes were B-level dreck.

Rating: D

Us (2019)

A lot of hype going into this one after Peele’s great Get Out. Us definitely had a creepy vibe with an unusual premise, but ultimately it unraveled after a series of disappointing reveals.

Rating: D+

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

A really long space chase filled with lasers and droids. I appreciated the few bits of humor they sprinkled in to give me a reprieve from all the “Who’s that again?”, “How do they know each other?”, and “How come Leia didn’t freeze in space and explode into a bazillion pieces?” It was a typical Star Wars flick, and at 2 ½ hours long, it was challenging to get through.

Rating: C-

Hearts Beat Loud (2018)

It was alright. Would have liked it more if the father and daughter had got along better and spent the film collaborating on music remotely rather than just a week before she left.

Rating: C

Fishing With John (1991)

John Lurie goes fishing with various famous people in strange and exotic places. There are like 6 episodes on the DVD, and I guarantee you've never seen a fishing show like this one. Just plain odd. The humor is very subtle sometimes, and the average viewer might be bored, but I enjoyed them. Famous guests included Dennis Hopper, Matt Dillon, William Dafoe, and more.

Rating: C+

After The Sunset (2004)

A showy heist film full of pretty people but shallow characters. Not developed enough to make me care about the actors or what happened to them. Ending was pretty lame too.

Rating: D-