Hamilton (2020)

Glad I didn’t fork over hundreds of dollars to see this very long history lesson in person. Lin’s singing is overly whiny. All the songs feel like a run-on sentence put to music. One bleeds into the next. Most of them sound the same. None are particularly any good.

As a movie it’s a fail because it’s not a movie. It’s your mom’s footage from your high school play, but with higher production value. This is a case of people needing something to be good because they just severely overpaid to see it. Their only mission? To sucker others into overpaying so they aren’t the only fools that had their money separated from them.

Had I been dragged to see this I would have been asleep within 3 songs.

My one line synopsis: Theater nerds speed read encyclopedia over bland beats for nearly 3 hours.

Rating: F

Crip Camp (2020)

Documentary showing how a hippie camp for disabled kids up in the Catskills helped kick off the movement that brought about the American Disabilities Act. I saw a lot of parallels to protests happening today around police brutality and Black Lives Matter--people still trying to get old white guys to let them have civil rights and equality. Change is slow.

Rating: B-

Palm Springs (2020)

Groundhog’s Day meets Wedding Crashers. Dark, dirty, and fun.

Rating: B-

The Old Guard (2020)

Gave this a spin without knowing anything going in. Fun concept that I won’t spoil here. Things unraveled by the third act, per usual, but I’d probably watch a sequel.

Rating: C

McFarland, USA (2015)

“This is going to come down to which runners can handle the pain.”

I ran 4 years of cross country back in the day, and this was the truest line in the film. In other sports, who wins generally comes down to talent and strategy. In distance running, it comes down to talent and the ability to endure pain and suffering.

Over the last three decades, I’ve pushed through enormous amounts of pain while running. It’s a trait that can help you survive other hardships in life.

This Disney movie based on real life events is a bit uneven and tone deaf, but follows a tried and true formula which satisfies. I also appreciated the positive spotlight it shines on the currently maligned immigrant community. We were so innocent back in 2015, completely unaware of the racist shitshow on the horizon.

Rating: C+

Game Of Death (2017)

There’s enough character development at the start of the film to establish an extreme dislike for this group of douchebag friends who stumble upon a Jumanji-like game. Only, instead of an animal adventure, they are forced to kill or be killed.

How does the game execute players if they don’t kill quick enough? It (and this part is never explained) causes their heads to explode. More often than not, brain matter is splattered onto the faces of everyone nearby, like the front row of a Gallagher show.

It’s gruesome and pointless. A movie like this needs to be much funnier, more creative, and have more likable characters. Everyone loses here.

Rating: D-

Blood Quantum (2019)

Zombie outbreak occurs on a Canadian Indian reservation. The twist? Natives are immune. Their reservation becomes the only safe place to live. The film doesn’t hold back on gore. Some creatively gruesome deaths.

Rating: C

Alone Wolf (2020)

Low budget indie in the agoraphobia genre. Feels more like a stage play. Not enough happens to keep you engaged. Ending was lackluster.

Rating: D+

Top 10 TV Shows Based On Movies

Top 10 TV Shows Based On Movies

Rank	TV Series	Grade	Movie
1	Westworld	A	Westworld
2	Hanna	A	Hanna
3	Hannibal	A	Hannibal
4	Fargo	A-	Fargo
5	What We Do In The Shadows	B	What We Do In The Shadows
6	Friday Night Lights	B+	Friday Night Lights
7	Cobra Kai	B+	The Karate Kid
8	The Mandalorian	B-	Star Wars
9	The Dead Zone	C+	The Dead Zone
10	Snowpiercer	C+	Snowpiercer
10	The Purge	C+	The Purge

 

Top 10 Movies Based On TV Shows

Top 10 Movies Based On TV Shows

Rank	Title	Year	Country	Grade
1	Deadwood	2019	US	B
2	Downton Abbey	2019	England	B
3	The Equalizer	2014	US	B-
4	Serenity	2005	US	B-
5	Veronica Mars	2014	US	C+
6	El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie	2019	US	C+
7	The Equalizer 2	2018	US	C+
8	Mission: Impossible III	2014	US	C+
9	S.W.A.T.	2003	US	C+
10	21 Jump Street	2012	US	C

 

Love Birds (2011)

Typical goofy New Zealand humor with a young Rhys Darby in the lead role. The quirky love story is hard not to like. It doesn’t hurt if you also enjoy ducks and the music of Queen. I do. 

Rating: C+

Togo (2019)

I thought this was going to be a cartoon for some reason. Glad it wasn’t. The heroic tale of Togo, a lead sled dog which helped save the lives of many by delivering a vaccine through the harsh Alaskan wilderness in the dead of winter. It’s family friendly, but thrilling enough to make your stomach nervous.

Rating: C+