The Secret World of Arrietty (Kari-gurashi no Arietti) (2010)

Arrietty is the story of a family of creepy little people that live in the walls and steal for a living. It’s a mystery why spiders haven’t sucked out their insides yet. Despite being the size of large bugs, they can still use their miniature vocal chords to carry on a normal conversation with a human across the room.

The human boy in the story secretly wants to get it on with teeny tiny Arrietty. He actually gets her into his bed after their first conversation. Alas, his wiener is the size of her entire body. To show his love, he nearly kills her family by renovating their home with them still inside. Then he spouts off about death and the end of the world. He’s a creepy sick kid.

But it’s the housekeeper who beats them all. She’s a complete psychopathic loon who gets her rocks off terrorizing the little people for her amusement. In the end, the minis move away for no apparent reason. Roll credits.

Rating: D