The Sparks Brothers (2021)

 

Right up front, we are shown a lot of famous people praising this duo we’ve never heard of. I’m deeply invested in the music world, and this is the first time I’m hearing of this band that’s supposedly influenced the musical landscape to the degree they are telling me. 

There is a lot of background narrative, but not being emotionally invested in the Sparks at this point, it’s mostly wasted on me. The editing style of intersplicing old clips to tell the story might have been novel had it been used sparingly, but they chose to back the truck up for this documentary. 

Meanwhile, bits and pieces of their music are being played between the lavish praises of industry insiders. They are creaming their bellbottoms over how incredible and life changing it all is. I’m like “meh”. Am I missing the joke? Did they make a documentary about a fictional mediocre band to see if people would pretend to like Sparks music because so-called experts are telling them it’s good? 

Let’s be honest. If their music was actually as good as all these musicians and the documentary say it was, they would have been more popular and people would play their albums. They don’t. The music isn’t that great. They are the answer to the question: “What if Queen wasn’t very good?”

To be fair, I did recognize the song “Cool Places” about 90 minutes in. I’d completely forgotten about that song until now. And any collaboration with Franz Ferdinand is going to be good. It’s a shame Sparks spent so much of their career seemingly trying to displease their fans. 

Rating: C-

Gunpowder MIlkshake (2021)

 

With a title like that, my expectations were already low, which turned out to be prophetic on my part. There are no genuine interactions in the film--just highly dramatized scenes straight from your least favorite movie clichés. 

Part of the problem is that the city appears to be solely populated by The Firm and other individuals tied to organized crime. Artificial characters inside an artificial city spewing artificial lines that will have you groaning repeatedly. 

Rating: F

Cruella (2021)

 

Shockingly good. Emma Stone will knock your designer socks off. She’s a lock for Best Actress and the film should definitely win for makeup and costume design. But what I enjoyed the most was the killer soundtrack. A lot of bold choices. I simply didn’t expect to love a Disney film this much. 

Rating: B+

A Quiet Place Part II (2021)

 

Whereas the first movie mostly teased the monsters, the sequel gives you a face full up front, and it’s startling. Many of the scares come from the excellent sound editing. The sound system in the theater we went to was LOUD. I jolted in my seat at least a dozen times. 

Rating: C+

Fear Street Part 1: 1994

 

A wannabe Scream. Nearly every plot turn was either lazy, dumb, or both. I’m hitting the eject button on this trilogy. 

Rating: D-

Till Death (2021)

 

There was an interesting premise there to play with, but absurdity levels rose too high, especially in the second half. 

Rating: C-

The Mitchells Vs The Machines (2021)

 

Started off promising with some funny bits, but quickly detoured into heavy-handed schmaltz and pixelated poppycock. 

Rating: D-

Don’t Breathe (2016)

 

It’s the genre where tables get turned by the would-be burglars. However, the grizzled army vet is not a hero protecting his home. Everyone’s morals are suspect in this film. It’s a tight little thriller that will have you holding your breath, just as the title tells you to. 

Rating: C+

Luca (2021)

 

An Italian fish out of water tale from Pixar. The animation is very pretty. Fun viewing for the family. 

Rating: C+

Kid 90 (2021)

 

A documentary of Jennifer Soliel’s life comprised of archive footage and diary excerpts she herself recorded. I grew up watching Punky Brewster, so it was fun getting a glimpse behind the camera of child stars in the 90s. I could see a lot of similarities to Miley Cyrus and other kids who grew up in front of the camera that came after her. An interesting, and sometimes dark, walk down memory lane. 

Rating: C+

Palmer (2021)

Fisher Stevens hits the perfect sweet spot between heartwarming and tragic. A meaty role for Timberlake. One of my favorites so far for 2021. 

Rating: B

Derek DelGaudio's In & Of Itself (2020)

 

The theatrical version of Derek’s stage show, which wowed audiences with illusions, storytelling, and, let’s be honest, a lot of emotional manipulation. The editing and the pace felt odd. Long pauses, clicks, and other bits that seemed out of place. 

Where the show excels is with the non-illusionary pieces; genuine reactions from audience members who are feeling seen and heard. And even you, the viewer, will share those same feelings as you watch the movie. It will leave you puzzling out how everything was pulled off. 

Rating: C+

Army Of The Dead (2021)

 

Reanimated leftovers from a genre that doesn’t have much left to give. A team was assembled one by one, then later eaten one by one. No one to really root for or miss after they died. Empty calories. 

Rating: C-

Riders Of Justice (Retfærdighedens Ryttere) (2021)

 

I’ll watch anything Mads Mikkelsen is in. But even if you aren’t as fanatical of a fan as I am, you should still go out of your way to see this quirky Danish revenge flick. There are a lot of layers that go beyond the killing, and that’s what makes it special. 

Rating: B+

The Paper Tigers (2020)

 

Taking a page from the success of Cobra Kai, Paper Tigers delivers a bland Kung Fu version. It’s watery tofu from Costco. 

Rating: C-

Wrath Of Man (2021)

 

Guy Ritchie’s latest shoot 'em up. More than your usual money truck heist flick. There are a lot of moving parts, but eventually all is explained. Quite violent. 

Rating: C+

Raya And The Last Dragon (2021)

 

Goofy dragons with special powers spend their lives helping the citizens of a Disney fantasy world be kind to one another. It’s not as bad as it sounds. 

Rating: C

Guns Akimbo (2019)

 

The setup to this film is completely nuts. I’ve seen my share of death-video-games-come-to-life movies; maybe all of them. But none where the unwitting victim (hero?) has a set of machine pistols brutally attached to his wrist and hands. 

My first thought was “How is this kid going to pee?” Well, it didn’t take long for them to answer that question. How does he get pants on? Check! Eat? Check! I like when movies address the little things. 

The name of the game is kill or be killed. As you might imagine, a lot of bodies hit the floor. It’s aggressively violent to the point where it becomes a little cartoonish. Hits the spot after a long day at the office. 

Rating: C

Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)

There was a lot of smoke, but no fire. Never felt the heat from this mostly watered down thriller. An unsatisfying end didn’t help. 

Rating: C-

Chaos Walking (2020)

The Noise is rather annoying, but you get used to it. Feels like everyone on that planet has autism from the thoughts they are projecting. It's a shame the hero kid didn’t get his big smooch at the end. Lost opportunity there. 

Rating: C