The Sessions (2012)

Gutsy performances for the two leads, especially Helen Hunt. Not a film for everyone.

Rating: C

A Knight’s Tale (2001)

A predictable MTV plot, but still a good time.

Rating: C+

Hellboy (2004)

I actually liked this Guillermo del Toro film better on the second viewing. It suffers from lack of a compelling storyline and a believable back story, which prevents it from being above average.

Rating: C-

Terribly Happy (Frygtelig Lykkelig) (2008)

A cop who makes poor decisions is sent to a town full of morons. Tough to weave a likeable story out of that, or enjoy a film when you are rooting against all the characters.

Rating: D

Carlos (Carlos The Jackal) (2010)

A miniseries about international terrorist Ilich Ramírez Sánchez, “The Jackal”. It was difficult to watch 245 minutes about an evil douchebag told from his perspective. I would much rather root for someone, like the people trying to bring him down, than root against him for the entire runtime. Certainly not worthy of an entire miniseries, even a dramatically edited version.

Rating: C

The Pacifier (2005)

It's basically a watered down version of Kindergarten Cop, which was a far more entertaining movie. Family action movies rarely work for the simple reason that they tone down the violence way too much. You never feel scared or even mildly worried in Pacifier, because the violence is cartoonish and weak. Ninjas crashing through a window to duke it out? Seriously!?! Who sends out ninjas anymore? You're far better off hearing Arnold say "It's not a tuma!" and then kicking some serious ass than watching this kiddie pool actioner.

Rating: D

City of God (Cidade de Deus) (2002)

Holy crap! I loved this film on so many levels. The way the story is told is pure genius. The acting is excellent. The performances from these kids are unreal. Everything is 100% believable. It feels like you're watching a documentary. One of the best movies I've ever seen.

Make sure to watch the 1 hour documentary on the DVD. At the end they show some live footage of police having a shootout with 10-13 year old boys carrying AK-47s. You may think that the truth is being stretched in the film, but that footage will change your mind. It's really that bad.

Rating: A+

Ponette (1996)

A French film about how a little girl copes with the death of her mother. While her performance is amazing, the movie itself is fairly plotless and slow.

Rating: D

The Island President (2011)

I’m not sure if this was readily apparent to anyone else watching the film, but it seems to me that the Maldives’ people already killed off their islands some time ago. Those opening shots of the populated islands are shocking. Every inch is covered with buildings, roads, and concrete. Perhaps the best course of action to “save” the islands is for them to become mostly covered by the sea and relocate those people to an area that has enough space to sustain their population. Manny environmental problems are addressed, such as decreased fishing levels, however it’s hard to pinpoint climate change as the culprit for all these ailments.

 A part of the film I really enjoyed was learning about the history of the country and how they successfully overthrew their POS former dictator. You just want to kick these guys in the nuts, but I guess that wouldn’t be democratically correct, even if that’s what they did to their political opponents in the past. They really have an uphill battle to save their country. No matter what changes citizens around the world make today, it’s unlikely any of it will have a significant impact on how climate change impacts the Maldives. Their time could be better spent scouting places to relocate their population to rather than fighting a losing battle with mother nature.

Two last things: Great soundtrack provided by Radiohead. And when you are off preaching green energy around the world, you should quit polluting the lungs of everyone around you with your secondhand smoke. Give up the cigarettes for crying out loud.

Rating: C

Lucky Number Slevin (2006)

A solid Pulp Fiction style crime thriller with great characters, acting, and a healthy dose of violence.

Rating: B-

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

I would have been much better off not seeing this. It's been several hours, and my head still hurts. Story was mostly crap. Characters were shallow at best. Overly gory and violent. Much of it made no sense at all. The best part was the clown talking to the audience on the DVD menu.

Rating: F

I Am Love (Io Sono L'amore) (2009)

An Italian film that revolves around a wealthy family as they undergo various transitions in their lives. It’s slow, but not necessarily boring. There is some masterful camerawork going on. The camera almost becomes a character in the film.

Rating: C

The Five-Year Engagement (2012)

A familiar cast that we all know and love. Full of funny lines and situations. It’s not going to win any awards, but you will be well entertained. I can’t get enough Emily Blunt.

Rating: C+

Joe Dirt (2001)

Wow. Much better than I thought it would be. (I expected it to suck) Way more creative than it had any business being. Even Kid Rock's presence didn't bother me too much.

Rating: C

King Corn (2007)

A couple college grads with small town Iowa roots decide to raise an acre of corn, all the while documenting the process and where it ends up. Yet another movie that helps Americans increase their knowledge about where our food comes from. Of course, if even half of us had any idea, we would eat completely differently, which would then force a massive change in how its produced, resulting in a new wave of documentaries to cover that new trend.

Sadly, only a small percentage of Americans bother to watch these films, so change will only come in another decade or so after all the people eating this way since birth begin to suddenly, and dramatically, die off. But back to King Corn. It’s informative without being judgmental. Always a good thing. Another must see for America’s youth.

Rating: C+

The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

The sequel to Pitch Black, with more connections to the first film than I anticipated. Plenty of action to hold your attention. A pretty good follow-up.

Rating: C+

Sound City (2013)

A documentary from Dave Grohl about the famous Sound City music studio and also the process of making music from the 70’s to the present. This is a real treat for music fans to watch. It’s packed full of big names and famous songs. Perhaps a little longer than it needed to be, but still enjoyable.

Rating: C+

Hackers Are People Too (2008)

A really low budget documentary on hackers that was very dry and boring. They took an interesting subject and dulled it down to the lowest common denominator.

Rating: D+

Lord of War (2005)

This is a somewhat dark little film with flashes of comedy, political soapboxing, and violence. It gives us a glimpse into the world of gun running on a large scale, or at least Hollywood's version of it. Either way, it's an entertaining tale.

Rating: C+

Spun (2002)

I liked the music video montages better than I liked the movie. Great soundtrack. As with most drug related movies, it failed to maintain a cohesive plot. I didn't connect with any of the characters.

Rating: D