Riddick (2013)

A case where a franchise continues to decline with each additional film. While there were some entertaining sequences, none of them combined merited the making of this third installment. Enjoy the first, then stop.

Rating: C-

Monkey Kingdom (2015)

Disney edits the shit out of some monkey footage to create a preposterous story of Maya, a monkey with big dreams trying to overcome the odds to elevate her rank in her monkey troop. After a one night stand, she gets herself knocked up. Later she teaches the other monkeys how to steal. This is supposed to be for kids? Tina Fey narrates fabricated emotions and thoughts for the monkeys. It’s all very ridiculous.

Rating: D-

Undisputed 3: Redemption (2010)

These films would be much better if the fight sequences were even somewhat realistic. In a world where MMA exists and we know what real fighting looks like and what happens to fighters when they get hit, it’s hard to overlook choreography that comes from an 80s playbook.

Rating: C-

The Interview (2014)

I’ve got to hand it to them. They went balls out. Crazy offensive on so many levels, but seriously funny. Worth declaring war over? Probably not. It’s doubtful any North Koreans will ever get their hands on a copy… but if they did, boy would I love to hear their thoughts.

Rating: B

London Has Fallen (2016)

As preposterous as the previous “Has Fallen” movies. Rather than hide out in some random London resident’s flat where it would be impossible to be found, they wander around out in the open miraculously avoiding getting shot.

And seriously, the entire London security force and police department has been infiltrated by hundreds of terrorists? So many plot holes I lost count. This movie will make you hate America.

Rating: F

Entourage (2015)

Like a really long, average episode of Entourage.

Rating: C

Garage Days (2002)

An Australian movie about a struggling rock band and the misadventures of each member. Visually awesome and creative.

Rating: C+

The Guest (2014)

Slick anti-hero script with a hefty dose of teen angst to boot. Some enjoyable 80’s throwbacks, even if they contributed to a slightly cheesy ending. Enjoyed.

Rating: B-

2012 (2009)

A by the numbers disaster movie, but with superior special effects. Quite watchable for the first 3/4ths of the film. Some ok humor to lighten things up. Things fall apart toward the end with some extremely forced emotional scenes. Had it not been for the groundbreaking (pun intended) end of the world depictions, I would have scored this movie lower.

Rating: C

Cop Car (2015)

I think they could have done a better job selecting the two kid actors. I didn’t find them very believable, but I did find them obnoxious. The editing is very self-indulgent. Time moves like molasses for about the first hour. But once Whiggam is out of the trunk, his character livens things up. The threatening speech he made to the boys was classic. Sadly, that turned out to be the only good moment in the movie.

Rating: D-

Bad News Bears (2005)

I have a faint memory of the original being a cute, family comedy. I have a distinct memory of this one being a mostly unfunny, crass, adult comedy without any real target audience to speak of. You don't care about any of the characters. You don't care if they win or lose. And you don't care whether his tomboy daughter hooks up with the rebel kid who flunked 3 grades.

Rating: F+

Predestination (2014)

Another confusing time travel movie with a plot that leaves you wondering if there was any point to the whole thing. Perhaps my brain isn’t capable of understanding how a transgendered man has sex with his earlier female self, both of whom turn out to be the baby they made, which was taken back in time and delivered at an orphanage. And this somehow is the secret sauce for creating the perfect time traveling agent? No thanks.

Rating: D+

A Mighty Wind (2003)

Watching a Christopher Guest movie is like hanging out with old friends. It's fun to see the same actors take on different roles in each movie, similar to a Paul Thomas Anderson film. While Waiting For Guffman and Best In Show were funnier films (in my opinion), Mighty Wind was still entertaining. Showcased the amazing singing ability of the entire cast.

Rating: C+

Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

Epic failure. The movie was so desperate to be funny, but of course wasn’t. While the first was based on a book with fleshed out characters and a solid storyline, the sequel hoped that propping up those same characters would make magic strike twice. It didn’t. The only thing that made the movie somewhat bearable was Keegan-Michael Key.

Rating: D-

Get Smart (2008)

Not as bad as I thought it would be. My expectations were low since I was watching on a 15 ½ hour flight to Hong Kong. Less goofy than the original show, which I was glad for. Much of the humor comes courtesy of a great supporting cast. Unravels towards the end when all reality is thrown out the window.

Rating: C

The Equalizer (2014)

I watched this television show as a kid. This is a fun update that delivers everything its audience wants. Much better than it had any business being. Good guys win. Bad guys lose. People die in a kaleidoscope of blood. I’d enjoy watching a serialized version on HBO or Showtime.

Rating: B-

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)

Like an Asian version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Really funny at times, ok at others. Plenty of cameos to keep you guessing.

Rating: C

The Escort (2015)

A little indie with a likeable cast and some witty dialogue, even if the romance follows a familiar formula.

Rating: C+

A Band Called Death (2012)

A cool rock history story that introduced me to an album I would otherwise never have known about. The documentary itself was a bit longwinded and overly introspective.

Rating: C-

Dumb And Dumber To (2014)

Monumentally bad. A few uncomfortable chuckles that I felt guilty letting out. What’s the point of reuniting these guys to do a sequel to a beloved guilty pleasure film if you are only going to cart out stale, recycled jokes?

Rating: F+